Tyler Joseph Imagines

Stargaze.

Warning: talks of depression and sexual abuse.

This is a scene from a Jyler book I'm writing in secret... I've changed a few things so it'll make sense.

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Everything comes to an end.

Everything but death.

Death is the end. There's nothing but hell after that. Or heaven. It depend on who you are.

Jenna would like to assume she'll go to heaven. Even though she was sure she was going to hell. Everything she's done in her life only makes her feel guilty. Even if it wasn't her fault half the time, it didn't make it any more of an okay thing.

She had a reason to feel this way. Even though it wasn't a reason she could vocalize, it was still a reason. If someone asked why she was sad she should be able to answer 'my mind is why I'm sad.' Right? And it's okay to lose it for no reason sometimes, right? Because there's always a hidden reason somewhere.

She never meant to lose it in front of Tyler.

"You alright?" Tyler asked concerned, his eyes followed the stray tear as it landed on Jenna's book.

She wiped it quickly, twisting her chair the other way. "I'm fine."

Through the time they've known each other, Tyler had grown confident. If he just met this girl he'd only nod his head and take her word for it, but now he knew her. Now, 'I'm fine.' wasn't an answer. It was, however, a way to block out the people who actually cared.

"Jenna, it's okay. You can talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about! I'm just having an off day." She took a deep breath, as she twisted around in her chair. She felt cornered.

Tyler sighed, as he hoisted his satchel onto his shoulder. He was about to leave to go home from the place they worked but now he was thinking otherwise. "You don't have to talk about it. There's other ways to feel better. Can I take you somewhere?"

The question startled Jenna. She was never good with men. She always felt uncomfortable with them, because they were intimidating. But she trusted Tyler. And she oddly felt safe with him.

"Yes." She told him, picking herself up from the chair. She felt like a glass doll, like she could break at any moment, and burst into tears. She didn't want Tyler to see her that way.

She didn't know exactly why she felt like crying. I guess it's a free gift on the side of depression. She definitely had a reason for crying, but shouldn't she stop using her mind as an excuse at some point?

Jenna slipped out of the chair, setting her book down on the counter. Tyler quickly latched his hand with hers, guiding her out of the music shop. Jenna flinched slightly, but soon relaxed at his touch. They've never touched before. She felt butterflies fly out of their cages, and into her stomach. It was like the butterflies finally escaped the clasp her heart had on them. They were celebrating.

"Where are we going?" Jenna asked, but Tyler didn't reply. He shifted his car into gear, and began out of the parking lot.

"Why waste words telling you if you can look for yourself?" Tyler questioned. Jenna rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling.

The pit of her stomach felt empty, as if every time she took a breath the air entered an empty, eerie, room. When she finally exhaled she was relieved, like the gust of wind was pounding to get out of her body. It didn't want to be stuck inside her empty chest just as much as Jenna didn't want to be herself.