Trying to Be Better

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John carried Thea to her room and noticed how small it looked with all her things inside

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John carried Thea to her room and noticed how small it looked with all her things inside. It was too stuffed. He was not sure how the maid had managed to dress her every day in there. Thea had her eyes closed and breathing slowly. John thought it was because of the heat. He did not think Crawford had attempted anything to her as Andrew was beside him, but he would make sure to ask Burton later.

He undressed her so she might feel more comfortable and could take proper rest. After he took everything off, Jonathan noticed that Thea was completely bare, hairless as she was in Paris, and his first thought was. "She must have done it again." The smell of lavender invaded his nostrils, and John sighed. "She was still doing everything to please me even though I only hurt her. And I had not even looked at her in a long time."

Thea looked very sick. Jonathan sat on her bed, covered her with a light bedsheet, and watched her sleep for a while. Knowing he could not go on like that anymore, he started to think that her father was right. He had trapped her in that marriage.

But after seeing Crawford aiding her, he could not let her go. She was his, and Jonathan was sure that if he let her go to the Americas, she would find someone and never return to him. With that in mind, he went downstairs to look for Andrew and Burton.

"What was lord Crawford doing here?" Andrew was unsure why John was so worked up and was at the house so early in the afternoon. It was not like he cared for Thea. But Andrew answered John. "He just arrived in London and came for a visit." Andrew was there for Thea and would never tell anything that transpired inside the room.

But of course, John needed more information. He wanted to know about their conversation. He needed to know what Thea told the gentleman. And Burton was happy to provide the extra information. "He was unhappy that she had not waited longer to marry, Sir."

"Would Thea tell him I took a woman to my bed during our honeymoon? Is she looking for a lover because I am not touching her?" So many questions inside his head, and he shook his head. "No, no!! I told her I would never accept her taking up a lover even if I did not want her anymore."

"Andrew, was Lord Crawford one of Mrs Pine's many suitors when you worked at the Palace?" Andrew nodded. "He could not call because he was in full mourning at the time of Mrs Pine's presentation to the court, but he always sent expensive flowers. Earl Crawford has known her since she was a child. He is good friends with her cousin. They went to Oxford together." That did nothing to ease Jonathan's thoughts.

John walked around. He was conflicted. Everybody was constantly hammering in his head to embrace his wife. And then he came home, and a former and possible future lover was aiding his wife.

John looked at Burton and decided it might be time to try again to give her some affection. "Tell Poppy to prepare Mrs Pine a bath in the master's chamber. A mild bath would do. It is hot today. Maybe that is the reason she is unwell. Let me know when it is ready. I will help her mistress."

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