The Unknown

Dr. Evans

Dr.  Marlena Evans's office

Lisa's pov

After we enter the office and exchange pleasantries with Dr. Evans, she asks Shane and Mike to sit in the waiting room so she can speak to the four of us alone.

Dr. Evans asks, "So girls, did Shane tell you why he requested this family session today?"

"No, but Mike did," I say, somewhat annoyed by this whole situation.

Dr. Evans replies, "Alright Lisa, why don't you tell me what Mike said."

"I don't know, something about Shane dating and having a girlfriend I think." I know she's going to ask, how did that make you feel? God I hate that question. What difference does it make? How does it make me feel? Who cares? It doesn't change anything. If I answer happy, sad, angry, confused, tired, hungry, or thirsty, what difference does it make? NONE. So what's the point?

Dr. Evans asks, on cue, "So how did that make you feel, Lisa?"

Every fucking time, I swear. I can't do this today. I'm so not in the mood to play 'let's talk about our feelings' and pretend everything is happy happy joy joy. This is bull shit. I'm so out of here.

"You want to know how it makes me feel?" I'm yelling now, not holding back. "IT FUCKING SUCKS! THAT'S HOW IT MAKES ME FEEL!" I storm out of her office, fuming. I don't know why I'm so angry, I just am. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left the fuck alone.

Mike's pov

Shane and I are sitting in the waiting room thumbing through magazines to pass the time. After only a minute or two goes by, I hear one of the girls yelling and Lisa comes storming out of Dr. Evans's office. I try to grab her arm as she's rushing by.

"Lisa, what's the mat..."

"Don't fucking touch me!" she screams, yanking her arm away from my grasp.

"What the..." I stand up, ready to chase after Lisa but Dr. Evans stops me.

"MIKE, WAIT! " she interrupts, from the doorway to her office.

Seeing the angry bewildered look on my face, she quickly starts explaining why I shouldn't track down my mouthy daughter and spank the living daylights out of her. Marlena comes to my side and gently takes hold of my arm to keep me from following Lisa.

"Let her go, Mike. Don't worry, she can't get out of the building."

I take a deep breath. Marlena's right, she can't get too far. You have to be buzzed both in and out of this building, plus the security guard would never allow an unaccompanied minor to leave.

"Just give her a few minutes to come to terms with her feelings and..."

She gently squeezes my arm then pats me reassuringly before continuing, "and a few minutes for you to calm down. Okay?"

Marlena gives me the 'stern school teacher admonishing a little boy' look. Damn, she knows me all too well already.

"Promise me you won't go after her until you're calm and ready to LISTEN to her. Understand?"

I sigh audibly and throw my hands up in defeat.

"Fine," I say, whining like a chastised child.

"I mean it," Dr. Evans says, pointing at me as she returns to her office to continue her session with the girls.

"So, that went well," Shane says, trying to diffuse the tension by making me smile. "This whole thing was my doing. Maybe I should be the one to talk to Lisa," Shane offers.

"No, I've got this," I say, as I head down to the lobby to find Lisa.

I find her there sitting on a bench with her head hanging low and her shoulders slumped forward, looking more sad than angry now. I sit down next to her.

"You want to tell me what that was all about?"

"No, I don't want to talk about it." Lisa continues to look down, avoiding eye contact.

"Ok, how about I talk and you listen?"

Lisa sighs and turns away from me.

"Whatever," she mumbles.

I squeeze her leg hard right above the knee, not letting go as I say, "Look, it's ok to be upset but it's not ok to be disrespectful. Understand?"

I accept her nod vs a verbal yes sir because I know she's hurting.

"I know something's weighing heavily on your mind right now, Lisa. I just want you to realize I'm here if you want to talk but it's okay if you'd rather talk to Shane or Dr. Evans instead. I really think you should get this off your chest now because when we get home, we're going to have a very different conversation about your cursing and that conversation is going to take place over my knee."

When I look over at Lisa, I see she's crying softly. My heart aches seeing her hurting. I know these are tears of sadness not fear. I try to put my arm around her to pull her close and comfort her but she pulls away.

"Please talk to me, Lisa, so I can help you."

She turns her back to me, effectively shutting me out completely. I start to put my hand on her shoulder but think better of it and pull back. I slowly stand up, ready to concede defeat.

"Just know I'm here for you whenever you're ready to talk. I'll always be here for you girls." I start to walk away.

"He's gonna leave, ya know." Lisa stops me in my tracks. I hear the worry in her voice.

"Who's going to leave, darlin'?"

"Shane." The tears are streaming down her cheeks. "He's gonna leave, just like everyone else."

I want to rush to her and hold her tightly in my arms but I'm afraid of scaring her into silence, so I wait.

"He'll fall in love and marry someone and move away so he and his wife can have their own family. He won't want us anymore."

I start to close the distance between us but hesitate sensing there's more. She's not finished unloading yet.

Lisa wipes the tears from her face before continuing, "He'll be gone forever, just like everyone else in my life."

Lisa's standing now, raising her voice with each word and gesturing angrily with her arms as she continues to vent.

"Just like Dad, when he promised he would always come home but then he didn't that night. He promised he wouldn't get hurt, even though being a cop was so dangerous. He promised, Mike!"

She's sobbing now but she isn't finished. She continues yelling through the tears.

"He promised that night too, Mike, but he didn't come home. HE NEVER CAME HOME AGAIN!  And then Mom left me too. She said it was just us and we'd be okay cuz we had each other and we were strong and that's what Dad would have wanted. For his two special girls to be strong and go on without him..."

I wipe the tears from my eyes, unaware of when I started crying, yet unable to stop.

"But she didn't stay strong, Mike. She left me too. She gave up and she left me. She said she missed him too much. She needed to be with him. WHAT ABOUT ME, MIKE? Why wasn't I good enough to keep her here with me?"

My heart is breaking. I had no idea how much she knew about what happened to her parents. I pull her into my arms, holding her tightly as she sobs against my chest. My tears falling in her hair as I rest my cheek on the top of her head.

"What if Shane leaves too, Mike?" she sobs.

I hold her tighter, praying she feels secure in my arms.

"Shhh." I rub her back trying to comfort her. "No, baby, that's never going to happen. Shhh." I try to quiet her crying, rocking and soothing her. "We'll always be here for you, baby. Don't cry."

"Promise?" she chokes out, between sobs.

"Darlin', I'm countin' on it."