Into My Heart

X

Two hours after Mrs Press' brief visit, and as Sam, Kristie and Pat decided to stay a little longer while waiting for the morgue to take Andrew to the crematory, I couldn't stand it anymore - I've given enough with my mother's death, which destroyed me in the end, as well as my little brother Joey's suicide three years ago. 

I needed some air - desperately. 

Almost in a panic attack, my breath at the same time cut short and hyperventilating, I walk out of the hospital by the main entrance, immediately finding refuge in a quiet space, under a tree, with nobody around. 

At least I thought so.

As I am sitting on a bank, trying to control my panic attack, my elbows relying on my knees, and my face relying on my hand, hiding it, I feel somebody just sitting down next to me, not too close, yet not too far. Trying to remain calm and not insult the person, I remain in the same position for a while, before not standing it anymore and starting to say:

"For fucks sake, can't anybody leave the me the fuck alone or it is too much to ask-" I start coldly, angrily, before abruptly stopping.

Christen is staring at me, not surprised neither angry with my reaction, just sitting there, not caring if I was angry or sad or impatient. 

Frowning, I just look down and close my eyes, forcing myself to say:

"Sorry."

She doesn't say anything, which causes me to just look up and stare right in front of me, only to see her in the side of my field of view. She, on the other hand, is staring right at me, a smirk on her face.

After a few seconds, she only says:

"I understand." and her voice, so soft and reassuring and calming, had an effect of a good inhaling of weed, and caused me to just immediately relax. Then, also staring into the void in front of us, she says: "I don't know why I stayed, to be honest. I guess you intrigue me in some ways."

Surprised by this declaration, I only start laughing softly.

"Why, do you like messed-up people? Is that your thing?"

Why am I being so mad at her for no reason? I think to myself, then realising that she belongs to the family that probably killed my father and destroyed the relationship I could've had with him - they took away the time I had to catch up with him and erase my regrets.

Setting her jaw, but yet not being angry, she just says:

"You are not like anyone I have ever met."

Once again surprised, I can feel that she is insistently staring at me. When I finally dare to turn by face toward her and make her eyes meet mine. Something very odd happens: I couldn't look away, and neither could she, it seemed.

Catching me off guard, her hand slowly reaches at my face, while her fingers softly touch my cheek, as her body turns a little bit more on toward me. 

I sense electricity in her fingers when she touches me, and my first reflex is to have a movement back - but Christen does not remove her hand, on the contrary, she starts unconsciously caressing my cheek, not leaving my eyes one second. 

I cannot move, petrified by my body's reaction to her touch. 

After a few second, she seems to realise her doing, and take her hand back pretty quickly, softly coughing and looking away, while I am just mesmerised by her green, deep eyes. Confused, I just close my mouth, which has been slightly opened this whole time, and shake my head.

Before either of us can say anything, a distant voice raises on our left, followed by footsteps:

"No way, you guys know each other?" 

Of course I know this voice: it's Alex, from the coffee shop, and she is walking toward us like a tornado of friendship.

Those past few weeks, she has been really helpful in my life - every night after work I would sit there and buy coffee or tea in the coffee shop she works at, and she would always just sit down with me with a drink and we would just talk.

Immediately, I can tell Christen suddenly is uneasy - although she does not show it at all. Instead, she just smiles at Alex, who hugs her, and then hugs me.

As a silence instates itself at the moment, I respond to Alex:

"Not really, I work for her family"

"Really?" Alex exclaims, raising her eyebrows. "You're Mallory's new helper?"

"Yes, I am."

Alex bursts into laughter.

Quite surprised, I throw a stare toward Christen but she, on the other hand, doesn't seem surprised, and even cracks a smile.

Realising that I was pretty confused, Alex explains:

"Mallory has had many helpers through the years, but they only lasted one week before either quitting or getting fired. You're kind of a survivor, Abs!"

"Really?" I ask, truly surprised. "How come?"

Alex and Christen exchange a stare, before the latter looks at me again and blankly says:

"Mother said they were not worthy or Mal"

"No offence, but your mother seems like the nicest person ever" I lie, trying to make her think that I would never cause any arm to her family.

Christen smirks.

"She only is to you because she likes you - otherwise she is a demon, trust me."

"Mh."

As Alex nods her head - obviously, Mrs Press did not like too many people except her daughters and Becky, and it shows - Christen suddenly stands up, staring behind Alex's shoulder. Immediately, I see Kristie, Sam and Pat walking our way, and I can tell Christen does not really like that. 

Alex, on the other hand, seems thrilled to see Sam, because she walks toward her and hugs her tightly. Kristie and Pat just stand there, as I just stand up as well.

Christen stares at me, and softly says:

"I shall go now: I will see you tomorrow, Abby."

Without leaving me any time to respond, she walks away, saluting the others from a distance. As Sam, Pat and Alex are catching up - they visibly have studied in the same school when they were younger, or maybe even university - Kristie walks toward me, confused.

She can see I am in no mood to talk, so she only says:

"You are very courageous to do what you do, Abs, but you should be careful not to be caught up in their invisible prisons... Especially hers."

"Mh." I only let out.

As Sam invited everybody over for a nice, hot meal cooked by her boyfriend in order to make the rest of this awful day a little bit easier, Kristie wraps her arm around me as we walk together in silence, only supporting each other.

But this whole night, all I can think about are those bright, green eyes and the feeling of her touch on my bare skin...