Into My Heart

LXXV

SAM

Here we go again, I think to myself, nervous as fuck.

I enter Shelina's office, where there was no sign of the brunette. I hear a low cry, and soon realise that she mustn't be far, since her daughter Maura - who, by the way, has grown quite well although she was born only weeks ago - is lying down on the couch is some sort of baby park, with her greyish eyes locked on me (the same as her mom's). My heart softening up a bit, I pick the baby up - such a tiny body, oh my God so cute... wait, since when do I like babies? - and she stops crying. She was dressed in a cute yellow outfit, and was staring at me with nothing but love.

Soon I softly hold her against my chest, trying to get her to sleep. My heart seems to be full, as I immediately think of Shelina: being there during baby Maura's birth was the best proof of love I could've ever given her, but it might still not be enough. The baby soon falls asleep in my arms, but I don't let her go: I just sit down on the couch and hold her close.

A familiar voice raises behind me:

"She must really like you, because she usually doesn't let strangers hold her without crying"

I look up, and see Shelina, as my heart starts beating faster.

She didn't have to do anything: I mean, right now she was just dressed with a classy women's suit, as her long, now light hair were let down. Her beautiful grey eyes were soft now, set on me and her baby girl. I crack a smile without even realising, as she comes and sits down next to me. As her sole presence was enough to make me go crazy, her leg carelessly touching mine just makes my heart rate explode.

I crack a smile, before honestly saying:

"At least I really like her: she is adorable, Shel. But there again, it doesn't surprise me: I mean, look at her mom."

Oof. 

I didn't realise how heartfelt those two sentences were, but Shelina sure reacted to them, wildly surprised and breathless. She stares at me, before awkwardly coughing and blushing - I mean, I never in my life would've thought I'd make such a beautiful woman blush, so it gotta mean something, right ? - before looking down. 

Once Maura is deeply asleep, I put her in her little cover bed, very slowly and carefully, before turning toward Shelina, who really seems to soften: I mean, not only the way she looks at me speaks plenty, but her body language was also indicating that she was waiting for me to talk this time.

Taking my courage in my hands, I only whisper:

"We should... talk, about the night of the gala, I mean..."

"Agreed" she slowly says, and I could see her eyes dropping on my lips from time to time. When she realises it, she shakes her head, in shock, before adding: "I haven't been able to think about anything else since, Sam."

My heart misses a few beats.

"Me either" I honestly say, before remembering Kristie's words - 'tell her before it's too late, otherwise she will move on and you'll be sorry'. Setting my jaw, I continue, very nervous and stressed out: "So, here's the thing: I suck at talking about... feelings, and stuff..."

"Feelings?" she repeats, raising her eyebrows.

It's now or never, Mewie, I tell myself, trying to gather everything left of my courage and boldness to make what I feel explicit:

"Yes, feelings... Because I do, uh, have feelings f-for... for you, Shelina. A-and I've been trying to bury them, because I am scared to death about falling for someone, let alone a woman... A beautiful, crazy-smart and interesting.... woman. A-a-and I don't want you t-to think I d-don't feel what I feel for you, and I-I don't c-care if it takes time for us to figure out what this means, but I think I lo-"

But I abruptly stop.

Shelina, on the other hand, seems deeply moved - and, realising that I am panicking about those three words I was just about to say, she confidentially and naturally puts her hands on my arms, before leaning in closer, longly watching my reaction - that consists in silently panicking but also dying for her to close this gap between us - her grey eyes full of... affection ? Or is it more? 

One of her hand now finds its way to my cheek, as I close my eyes, feeling this warm sensation taking over my whole body, especially my chest and stomach, as she caresses my jaw, and I could feel her warm breath brushing my lips. 

After a long silence, she just whispers:

"Say it, Sam" and, getting even closer, she says in an ever lower and more sensual voice: "Say those words and I am all yours."

I cannot hold it inside anymore, as I declare:

"I love you."

When she kisses me, I could feel her smiling in the act, her other hand now also on my cheeks. She immediately deepens the kiss, as her tongue softly finds its way inside my mouth, and I could swear that her sole presence and kiss were enough to make my body disfunction. I kiss back - obviously, how not to? - my hands now on her hips, as her body moved to be right in front of me. 

After long minutes - it's so fucking hot in here, what the hell...? - she leans away just enough so that our foreheads could touch, her eyes slowly opening up again, meeting with mine. This indescribable feeling is still taking over my whole body, especially my brain, as I look at her as well, hardly swallowing my saliva, deeply breathing. 

If it wasn't for the baby sleeping next to us, we would've done way more than just kiss. Realising that, we both laugh softly, before she leans further back, staring right into my eyes, a tear rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh, I didn't mean to-" I start, confused.

But she makes me shut up by saying:

"I love you too." 

And, just like that, she kisses me again, and my heart is now full with true love at last.