Chapter 18 - Pillowtalk

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*two hours later*

Caden and I layed down next to each other in his bed, naked and unmoving. We were laying flat on our backs. Panting heavily, we were both clearly worn out.

"Celine's been bothering me a lot lately," He muttered out of the blue as he rolled onto his side to face me.

I also turned my head, reaching over with my left arm to pinch his slightly chubby cheek. "She's really into you," I truthfully stated with no emotion. Caden took hold of my wrist and pulled it away from his face.

"She's the only one I can talk to at lunch, though," He began ranting. I kept quiet and observed his petty distress, allowing him to continue. "Corey stays silent unless he's complaining or worrying about something, Ryder is always flirting with a random girl, and Samantha and Hazel are constantly making out."

I nodded, not listening to a word that coming out of his pretty little mouth. I leaned over and kissed his cheek where my hand had been moments earlier before exiting his twin-sized bed to prepare to leave.

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*one day later*

It was Friday, the day of freedom. I was sitting on Ashton's stool at the kitchen counter whilst eating a jello cup mindlessly when I heard the doorbell ring. Knowing my pregnant mother and father who wasn't home would not answer it, I groaned and stood up from my seat. I dragged myself to the door and opened it without checking who was there.

Upon seeing Corey's grim face, I slammed it shut immediately.

I returned to the stool and my jello cup. The doorbell rang once, twice, thrice, only for me to ignore it every time. Corey's fist pounded on the door with force, only to receive nothing from me. I was planning on not responding, before I heard him shout something.

I couldn't hear what he said, but I was mildly curious. Swiftly sliding off my chair and walking to the door, I still didn't open it for my fake ex boyfriend. I pressed my ear against it to hear what he had to say.

"Please!" He shouted, sounding distraught. "Hazel told me about you smoking and I just want to know what's up with you! I thought we were friends and I'm just genuinely worried about you!"

I took a deep breath as I opened the door once again slowly. Corey stood nervously and stared at me with wide eyes. I sighed before saying just a few intellectual words to him.

"Don't pour out your heart and soul to someone who doesn't care."

I then slammed the door in his face carelessly and returned to my strawberry jello, something that reminded me of my dead brother.

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*one hour later* 

I was on my fourth jello when I noticed how pitiful what I was doing was. Sitting on my dead brother's stool and eating his favorite snack. Chain-smoking for hours a day. Ignoring everyone in my life that cared about me. And when Samantha rung my doorbell with tears in her eyes screaming to me about how much pain I inflicted on the group, I knew I had fucked up bad. 

I had never seen Samantha show any sad emotion, much less cry. At the sight, I began bawling, telling her about Ashton's death, my dad's ignorance, my feelings for Caden, June's awful words. She silently listened to them all. And when I was finished, she called every individual member of the group so that I could apologise to them too. Corey was last.

"Hey Samantha," Was what he said as he answered the call. His voice was deeper than usual, and ridiculously sad. 

"It's not Sam. It's Aveline," I breathed out, hoping for a good reaction. When Corey stayed silent, I continued. "I'm so fucking sorry for everything I've done to you. Ashton died two weeks ago and it fucked me up more than you will ever know-"

I halted my speech when I heard sniffling on the other end. Corey told me to continue despite his tears, and I did. I explained everything, minus the Caden bit. Corey apologised too, though I still didn't understand what for, and it was fixed. Just like that. 

I wasn't planning on quitting smoking anytime soon, though. Fuck that. 

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*three days later*

I kicked my locker open on Monday to see a small note flutter down. Just like 'good' old days. All it said was "stairwell" so I assumed it would from one of the people in the group. 

It was June. 

The moment I saw her, I let out a deep sigh and pulled a cig out of my pocket, not caring that I was in school. "What the fuck do you want?" I asked harshly. 

June smirked at me, running a swift hand through her fake blonde locks. "I heard that no one knows about Ashton, so I'm going to tell everyone about him," She blurted out, looking way too proud of herself. 

"Do you really think I care?" I questioned in a low, bored tone. June didn't listen to me, however, continuing her little speech. 

"If you don't get Corey to ask me out in the next 24 hours, that's exactly what I'll do. EVERYONE will know," She said dramatically as she spun on her heel and marched out of the room. I rolled my eyes and finished my cigarette, of course being very late to first hour. 

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*four hours later*

I walked in the lunchroom for the first time in two weeks and watched all of my old friends sitting at the table, looking mildly grim and whispering to each other. Samantha noticed me in the doorway and smiled warmly. I instantly felt invited and went over to the table. My usual seat between Corey and Samantha was empty and I slowly took my seat. 

No one even batted an eye. 

That overjoyed me. All of my friends (and I was actually considering them friends then) were acting like nothing ever happened and that none of them were mad at me. That was, until I heard a particular high pitched voice whispering in my ear. 

"Hey, Aveline, can we, like, talk for a bit outside the lunchroom?" Celine questioned, for some reason not looking very mean. 

I nodded quickly, hoping that she wasn't pissed at me even though I thought I hated her. I followed Celine out and we started strolling down the deserted hallway, right beside each other. 

"So, Caden told us all about you two still sleeping together and I just don't get it," She started, not stopping when I tried to interject. I really did not want to discuss that. "What do you have that I don't?" 

I looked at the poor girl who I shared a crush with, but would never tell anyone other than Samantha that. I tried to comfort her, saying, "Uh, maybe try to like, not talk to him or something?" 

Celine looked even more off-put by that, so I wasted my energy on her once more, "I don't know Celine, stop giving me that look! Just try to get out of the friend zone."

"B-but he won't ever notice me," She pouted. 

I was already fed up with her and it had been approximately two minutes. "I said this to Julia and I'll say it to you! Boys like Caden aren't into desperate sluts! He. Likes. Feisty. Girls." I spat the last few words, not giving any fucks, just wanting the annoyance to end. 

Celine and I turned around and silently made our way back to lunch, where she was discouraged and everyone else treated me normally. 

Well, everyone except Hazel and Samantha. They made out the whole time. 

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