Stuck with the schools Bad Boy

Chapter 35

❥❥❥Blake's P.O.V❥❥❥

All i could do was stare at her as she walked away.

"Fuck" I cursed under my breath.

I know i have fucked with her feelings but I don't know what else to do. I don't think before I act, I just do. I do what I need and what I want. I don't think about who I will be hurting or how it's going to effect me and the others around me. I don't fucking think. I got that trait from my fucking dad and that's what got him killed. That's what causes me to get enemies.

But when it came to her. Fuck. I hate confessing. I knew Heaven. She was fucking stubborn and i knew she doesn't like to admit how she feels, so when she told me that she loved me yesterday i was shocked.

Shocked that she spoke those words I have been longing to hear. I feel like a dickhead, fuck I feel like a fucking asshole because fucking i don't know how I feel.

I don't love. I am not capable of loving someone. I don't know what love feels like, so how do i know if i love her? This was all just too fucking confusing. I wanted her-god I wanted her so fucking bad.

She looked fucken sexy today. Her face is so beautiful. It was the most beautifulest thing I have ever seen. Every time I look into her eyes I couldn't look away. Her lips. Ah fuck her lips. Every time I kiss her I need more. I am addicted to them. Every other girl I have kissed does not compare to Heaven. Hell, no girl compares to heaven. No girl makes me crave their touch but Heaven does. No girl makes my heart clench when they cry but Heaven does. No one can make me smile when they are happy but Heaven does. And no one can send my heart into overdrive but Heaven fucking can! I feel all these fluttering shit in my heart and I can't stand it. It's embarrassing, it's annoying- it's making me weak.

I hated it. I hated how she effects me. I hate how she can make me feel things. I am not used to this because i don't feel. I have never felt this way before. All I want is to protect her, I want her to be happy, I want to see her smile and hear her laugh. I want her around me constantly. She is so different.

When she told me she loved me, my body went all warm and fuzzy and I don't know what that meant!

Could it be pride or was it something else? It made me happy that was for sure. It made me relieved because it reassured me that my feelings weren't one sided.

I smiled to myself.

How can she love me?

The most fucked thing is that she thinks i don't feel the same way. I want to tell her how i feel but I know I can't. I don't know how to.

"I love you" Those three words sounded foreign rolling off my tongue. It felt strange coming out of my mouth, but it didn't feel wrong. It felt right with her.

Fuck don't tell me i'm going soft.

I ran my hands through my hair. "She's fucking making me soft" I muttered under my breath.

I looked outside to see her sitting down with everyone. My heart seemed to stop as I watched her laugh at something Jake said.

Fuck she was beautiful.

My eyes travelled down her body. Her long tanned legs were calling me to touch them. She was so small compared to me. She was up to my shoulders.

I snickered at the thought. She was so cute when she got angry. Every time she yelled at me I just look at her like she's a kitten.

I sighed, opening the door and going outside.

I walked over to the table, taking an empty seat near her. I felt her stiffen beside me making me smirk to myself. I loved knowing I effected her. I love knowing that only I can effect her like that.