Chapter Thirty-Four: Turning a Page

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"The secret of
Change is to focus
All of your energy
Not fighting with the
Old, but building
The new. "

- Socrates

I spent most of my adult life holding onto a past that controlled me. My past had its grip on my neck and suffocated me with my own fear. My past forced me to remember the days of pain and forge the disregard of the message I should have gained from my experience.

The past only had control because I gave it control. I fed the morsel bits and pieces of my sanity and belief. I fed the damned thing until it grew much to big for me to handle. I allowed the past to consume me, chew me up and threaten to spit me out if I tried to run.

My past eventually swallowed me whole and I made a habitat of its pit. I swam in the acid of anger and seclusion. I mad sadness, despair, and anguish my best friends.

My own families wake up calls could not shake me. I was where I wanted to be - apart of a huge magazine company as a fellow writer and artist - all because of my anguish. It brought me so far, so why would I have tried to change?

Love. I should have changed for love. I was lonely, bitter and lonely. I hated to claim it then, but now I can fully admit it. I was a scared little girl, waiting for a hero. My hero eventually came when I left my notebook in that damn cafe.

My hero was smart, witty, sweet, and persistent. What a hero he was truly. He showed me a world that I had otherwise forgotten. I had abandoned. I believed that there was nothing better than being alone and fighting for myself, but then I met him.

I never knew that having someone fight for you could be so, enriching. My hero fought for us and eventually forced me to fight for us as well.

My hero opened my eyes and returned my fire, my light that I needed. I was in such a dark place, a very dark place and he gave me my light. He gave me my light and then he helped me pro-create a life.

"You sure you don't want me to stay another week? You know I will, love." She asks as she breaks our embrace.

I smile and shake my head, no.

It has been a tough two weeks since that afternoon I met wit Jason. I do not know what happened to him, but I was told by the officer who is investigating my case that Jason was expected to have returned to Washington last week.

Whether or not he did, the officer said he would speak with me another day about that. From what I can say, I will never see Jason Mikel O'Brien again. He and our memories have been closed off into a burned chapter.

Timothy and I could not be anymore elated about this new chapter we will be writing together. He scolded me about even being rave enough to speak with the lunatic - as Timothy refers to Jason as - alone in the first place.

He only ended up hugging me tightly and whispering about how glad he is that, that part of my life is over.

Of course this only left Timothy to deal with his demons and when my mother leaves, I have devised a little plan to help Timothy do just that.

"No, I'm fine mother. I got this big guy to help me." I turn to Timothy and peck his lips.

Timothy smiles against my lips before pulling away and walking up to mother. The two stare at each other for a moment before mother walks into his arms and hugs his torso.

"You take care of my Irish muff, eh?" She sniffles. "She is my baby."

Timothy smiles and squeezes mother before she breaks their embrace.

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