All Because Of Him

seventy seven.

  Right when I say the words I have been dying to let out since the first time I saw him again, Mason's body immediately stiffins above mine. The gentle, delicate kisses he was planting all over my neck, down to my collarbone have come to an end. His rough squeezes along the mount of my breasts have stopped, and all the heat in the room that was here only seconds ago has been extinguished.

 And in this moment I know, I fucked up.

Asking him to give me an answer was the right thing to do, but even though he's here, body hovering over mine, my skin has suddenly started to feel cold.

He lifts his head up out from the crook of my neck and I notice how his eyes have changed, they're not just dark, cold and constricted- they're empty.

"What did you just say to me?" His voice resembles disbelief as he glares down at me.

I swallow the lump in my throat, "Tell me why, Mason... just say it and you can have me."

I lift my hand up, attempting to place it along his cheek to try and soothe the anger building up inside of him but he quickly pushes it away, taking his hands off of me and sitting up from the bed.

"So you're threatening me now?"

My eyebrows narrow into him before I quickly push myself up, sitting right next to him. The closer I move, the further he gets away from me and my stomach sinks at the sight of it. This is how it usually starts, him refusing to let me touch him, get close to him or look at him a certain way before he lashes out on me.

"No, no," I say without hesitation, "I just want you to be honest with me. I deserve-"

I try to finish my sentence but he interrupts me, letting out an amused laugh and stepping off the bed. I make a mental note to keep my voice calm, collected so he won't over analyze it and twist my words, or somehow turn everything all on me.

I know letting his walls down isn't easy for him, I should have expected it not to go well but I figured after everything that's happened between us he would have at least tried to make an effort.

But as I sit here, watching his eyes glare down at me, fury swirling around in those iris' of his, I know that won't be the case.

"You deserve what exactly?"

"The truth."

"And what makes you think I'd tell you? 'Cause we fucked?"

I can feel the sting of his words, and it takes everything in me to act like what he's implying doesn't affect me.

"No, because you want me." He turns away, effectively shutting me out and as he rakes his hand through his hair I continue, "And you can't expect us to go anywhere if we can't tell each other the truth."

"Stop saying that." He says to me, his voice strict while he starts taking a few steps and turning, pacing around the room.

"Saying what?"

"Us. There is no 'us' Isabelle, when are you going to get that through your fucking head."

Deep breaths, deep breaths

"I'm not trying to argue with you-"

"Bullshit. That's exactly what you're trying to do- asking me some shit like this? It doesn't matter why I fucking did it-"

"Yes it does!" I yell, climbing off the bed so I'm able to stand in front of him. "You left, Mason. You left me-"

"Who gives a shit! I did what I had to do, collateral damages didn't concern me."