All Because Of Him

seventy one.

My bare feet pad against the hardwood floors as I make my way downstairs to the kitchen. It seems as though no matter how much time passes, I still find it difficult to sleep. Lately my thoughts have been running wild with memories of him, and although I try not to question every single decision I've made these past couple of days, I still can't escape the feeling of uncertainty crawling it's way back into me.

I don't want to familiarize myself with the way he's been acting, because I know something is bound to come up sooner or later.

Just as it always does.

Also, I'm really starting to hate nights.

It leaves me alone in my room surrounded with nothing but darkness, giving me more time than I would like to over analyze everything. I appreciate that he's been trying for me, but I still can't wrap my head around why.

I'm not entirely sure what he wants with me- besides me being there to warm his bed.

As I turn the corner to the kitchen, my feet come to a halt when I see Sylvia standing on the other side of the island counter, mug in hand, looking deep in thought.

It's almost two in the morning, what is she doing up?

Her eyes stare into space as she grips the mug in her hand tightly. I watch as she slowly lifts it up, tilting her head back slightly and takes a sip, her eyes rising off the mug until they meet my own.

"Isabelle," She greets a little caught off guard, "Did I wake you?"

I shake my head, "No, I uh, I couldn't sleep."

I walk into the kitchen, hugging my arms across my chest, suddenly feeling awkward. I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake at this hour, and I most certainly didn't expect to have to carry on a conversation either.

"You and me both." I hear her mutter, her eyes connecting with mine while she shoots me a tired no teeth smile.

I can't ignore how tense being home makes me feel. Even though I've been back for a while now, everything still seems very quiet, almost as though no one knows how to act around each other.

I understand it, I don't have much to say either.

Which gives me yet another reason to miss Jessica's house.

"I just made some tea, would you like some?" Sylvia asks me, walking over back to the stove and already pulling out a mug from the cabinet.

"Uh yeah, sure."

I walk around the counter, over to the island on the other side of it and sit down. I originally came down here to bring the pack of Oreos to my room that Amy just bought today. I always find myself sneaking in new treats in the middle of the night. Somehow it makes me feel a little bit better; a warm blanket around me, random netflix movie displayed on my laptop screen while I stuff my face with whatever sweet treat I decide on for the night.

But I suppose tea will have to suffice.

I sit in my seat quietly as I watch her pour some hot tea into a purple mug. My eyes roam around the room, trying to make myself seem that I'm not the least bit uncomfortable before she speaks up.

"How has everything been with you? I feel like I barely see you here anymore."

She extends her arm out to me and I nod my head slowly, reaching over to take the mug from her hand. I'm not sure why she looks concerned over my whereabouts, it's not like she saw me much before to begin with.