All Because Of Him

thirty.

After getting my things from my house, Jessica and I return back to hers. I made sure to text Amy when we were outside so she could quickly put my bags in the car. I was grateful that she had no problems packing my things for me. I do feel bad for leaving her alone in the house with them, we all know they'll drive her crazy. But she seemed to understand where I was coming from, like she always does.

Once we got back to Jessica's I unpacked my things and put them in the room which will now be mine for the time being. I told Amy to pack a couple weeks worth of clothes because I don't know how long I'll be staying here. There wasn't really a plan to what I'm doing, all I know is that it has to happen.

My mother can't expect me to welcome her with open arms after everything that's happened. She was the one who decided when to come back, now it's my turn to decide when I want to also.

Even though I'm now living with Jessica, I don't want to invade her space. I have to find time to do other things while I'm here too.

Even if it means talking to Mason.

I put the last pillow on top of the comforter to finish making my bed, and slowly take a step back to look at everything in place. It's weird to say that it's actually starting to look like my room.

I feel a bit strange looking at everything. Who would have thought this all would have happened?

I turn around and make my way down the stairs towards the kitchen, I am starting to feel a little bit hungry after all that unpacking. But I have no idea what they have stocked in this house.

I open up the refrigerator and all I see is beer, milk, and some Smirnoff Ice's.

Great. I'm living at a frat house.

Luckily for me I spot some fruit in the fruit basket sitting on the counter, and get an idea on what to make. Before I make it I quickly check the freezer and see that it's fully stocked with Eggos waffles, ice cream, and frozen pizzas. Of course they would have more frozen food then food to actually cook. It seems like I'm going to have to go grocery shopping, it's the least I could do.

After I take the blender out of the cabinet, I quickly cut up some strawberries and bananas and place them inside. I follow by pouring some milk into the blender and adding a bit of ice cubes since the fruit I put in wasn't frozen. I turn the blender on and just as it starts to whir, Mason walks into the kitchen, seeming unpleased by the loud noise.

"What the fuck are you making?" He asks me, raising his voice a little bit to get through to the noise.

"A smoothie." I said, turning the blender on it's lowest power.

I'm amazed by how quickly it blended everything together, I usually have to stop my blender at my house after a couple seconds because more often than not, the fruit gets stuck in between the blades. I'm going to have to start getting used to Jessica's house and how upgraded it is.

"Do you want any?" I turn the blender off and take off the lid, looking through the top to see how it all turned out. I look back at Mason waiting for a response.

"Uh, sure." He answers, seeming unsure in his reply.

I walk over to the cabinet and bring out two cups before pouring some of the smoothie into each one of them. Mason takes a seat on one of the bar stools right on the other side of the island in front of me. He reaches over and grabs his cup, bringing it up to his lips.

"So, what were those bags you brought over?" He asks me after taking a few sips of the smoothie.

I realize that I never talked to Mason about me staying here, I'm sure he won't care. But I guess now's as good of a time as any.

"I brought some of my things here." I take a small sip before continuing, "I'm going to be staying here a while."

"How long is 'a while'?" He asked me and I shrug. Truth is, I'm not so sure. I watch as his eyes drift away from mine, before reconnecting.

"You're parents okay with that? I remember them being a little strict." He says, and my heart aches from his words.

I forgot that Mason doesn't know about my father dying, or even the fact that my mother disappeared. He doesn't know any of it because he left a couple months before. I take a deep breath before answering.

"I guess they'll have to live with it." I answer.

"So... we'll be roommates then?" He asked with a small smirk appearing on his face.

I know what he must be thinking and I won't entertain the thought. I'm sure living with Mason will have its downsides, but I hope if anything it makes us get closer. I know that's what Jessica would want.

"If that's okay with you." I answer, and his eyebrows raise slightly.

"Why does it matter what I think?"

"Well, because this is your home too-" He huffs at my words and slams his hands onto the counter, before getting up from the stool.

"Wait, Mason-" I say and walk towards him. He turns around and takes a step closer to me. His eyes meet mine, and for a second I notice something while looking into them.

Pain.

"This is not my home." He argues, his voice rising in front of me.

What I said clearly offended him, and that wasn't my intention. I know speaking to Mason about this must be a sensitive subject.

"This will never be my home." He finishes.

"Why not?" I quickly ask. His eyes disconnect from mine, and start to wonder. I watch as his mouth opens, and slowly closes. It seems like he wants to say something but he never does.

"Mason..." I say softly.

"You don't get it!" He brings his eyes back to mine, "There's nothing for me here, just a lot of people I tried to leave in the past."

It would be a lie if I said his words didn't hurt. I watch as he steps away from me and makes his way towards the front door.

"Mason," I call out and he turns around just as his body is in the middle of the doorway. "Thanks for the pancakes." I said. 

     He looks at me for a moment, eyes slowly starting to soften before he turns around and slams the door behind him.