Lost in spells and shadows

Chapter 30: Some tranquility

It was a few weeks before Christmas, as Sarah was always reminding her about what day it was (because this year she had lost track of days and weeks), and Adelaide was more withdrawn than ever. Sometimes, she would even visit Hagrid for tea, since she was not in the mood to see her own friends.

"Adelaide, we are leaving for the lake for some gossiping again, don't you want to join us?" Alice asked her. Again.

"No thank you, i have some unfinished schoolwork."

"Well, suit yourself, you will be missing out from the gossip and the sweets."

"I am not a child to be elated by the sight of some sweets being waved at my face. Go and have fun."

They shrugged and went away to join the other girls. I don't know why they keep asking me, it's not like they really love my presence, i will just make things worse and the tension will skyrocket if i go there. It's better for everyone and myself to stay here.

Adelaide after a few minutes of studying in her room, packed a bag filled with books, papers, and quills. She had actually finished her homework, but she was pre-reading, studying some old lessons and studying complex subjects that would not be taught yet. She petted Midnight's head and walked to the library. She was wearing a simple white button down shirt with grey skirt and a blue pullover on top of it, she didn't bother to so anything to her hair but let it be a braid that she had done since the morning.

Adelaide found her usual spot and went back to her books, when she felt someone getting near her. She looked up and saw Remus, he waved at her and smiled. "Dela, how are you?"
"Fine thank you." He walked and sat beside her with his own books.

"So what are you doing? I saw your friends outside, i thought you would be with them."

"Oh i-i wasn't feeling like it. Nowadays making conversations is such a chore for me, it's easier to be here alone."

He frowned. "Perhaps what is good for you is not isolating yourself from your friends."

"I am a burden to them. I can see that, whenever i join them, i can see their eyes deeming and how their smiles seem fake. I can feel the tension in them, how they are worried that i might destroy their bubble of happiness. I am doing all of us a favour by not joining them."

"Adelaide, what the hell do you mean by being a burden? You shouldn't think of yourself like that. It is an honour to call you my friend, you are anything but a burden, never think of yourself like that."

Adelaide felt an emotion she didn't it was there, a pain in her heart, something that made her want to cry her heart out, but she just blinked and looked away.
"I don't think it's possible to do that. Don't worry, it's nicer this way."

Remus put a hand on her own and squeezed it: "Whenever you needed company, you can tell me and we can study together."
"What about your own friends?"
"Even though Sirius and James are very talented and get good scores, the two of them with Peter, don't really do any of their work until the very last minute. I sometimes join Frank and Stephan but i suppose i can study with you too."
"Ok."

They sat and studied in a comfortable silence, sometimes Remus would break it ask her questions and so she would lend him a hand and would help him with his homework. It was frankly, one of the few times that Adelaide's mind was not jumping around and she wasn't thinking of something else, in someone else's presence, she was living in the moment and she never knew that it was such a comfortable and peaceful feeling.

They studied like that for nearly 3 hours, when Remus began packing up. "You know, sometimes studying with Stephan and Frank could be a bit difficult, since we get distracted, joke around and all, but this was very good. By the way, that caramel chocolate that you brought the last time that i.... Was in the infirmary, was very good. I might be a little bit too straight forward but can you bring that again next time?"