Across the Pond

Chapter 60

I should've trusted my intuition and never came to this stupid party. Here I was trying to be a good friend, accompanying Remi to Stevie's house, thinking that the universe would work in my favor for doing so, but no. I could seriously ball my eyes out right now, but I'm holding back so hard because I don't want anyone to see me crack. I am strong, and I will get through this. I will.

I'm so happy when Remi informs me that the Uber is less than a minute away because the thought of having to stand on the same property as Nico right now infuriates me.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that, B," Remi says.

"It's not your fault, Rem," is all I say back to her as we both wait outside.

A few seconds later, and our Uber pulls into the driveaway.

"I've never been so excited to see an Uber driver," Remi remarks, trying to lighten the mood, and it works because it garners a chuckle from me.

I follow her as she goes to open the door, but Nico suddenly walks out of the house.

"Bella, wait," he shouts, racing from the front of the house to where I'm standing.

Remi doesn't get into the car. Instead, she slams the door shut and makes her way in front of me, pointing her finger at Nico. "Don't you dare come near her, Nico."

"Remi, just...stay out of this," Nico says in a somewhat nice manner. And then he looks at me, but I refuse to have my eyes on him for even a second. "Bella," he walks up to me and says, latching onto my crossed arms. "Don't leave. Please. Just stay and talk to me."

"Ugh," Remi growls, "will you give up already? Seriously, Nico. Enough!"

Nico doesn't address Remi or even turn to look at her. He's waiting on me to answer him, but I don't know what to say. I'd be lying if I said that part of me doesn't want to stay here.

Even though I'm not looking at Nico, I feel his eyes on me as he waits for me to respond. His hands on my arm illuminate this warm sensation that I'm really trying so hard not to feel. I finally move my gaze away from the ground and peer up at him. "Please," he whispers once he realizes that my eyes are on him.

My breathing is heavy, and that's solely due to the fact that I'm nervous. I'm not nervous to talk to Nico or to hear what he has to say. I'm nervous because I've come to the realization that I might not ever get over Nico.

"B, let's go. The Uber's waiting," Remi says, reaching for my arm, but I don't flinch. "You're not actually considering hearing him out, are you, B?" I look at Remi, who's now giving me a pleading look. "B, don't. I'm telling you, you'll regret it."

"I just need a few minutes alone with him, Rem," I tell her, and she lets out a deep sigh, clearly disappointed by my answer. "I'm sorry."

She shakes her head at me, dismayed. "You don't have to be sorry, B, it's your choice. Let me tell the driver that we're cancelling our ride."

"Thanks, Rem," I smirk at her and say, and she nods.

"Do what you gotta do. I'll wait for you out here."

***

I pretend like I know where I'm going and lead Nico into Stevie's backyard, which is comprised of a long pool and a clay tennis court. I don't want to sit and get too comfortable, so I stay standing.

"You wanted to talk?" I cross my arms and state. "Talk."

The first thing that Nico does is reach for my arm, but I nudge my body away. "Don't," I tell him.

"Okay," he nods, bringing his hands back to his sides. "I'm sorry. You're right." I just stand there as he tries to find his words. "Bella, what you saw inside was not what you think. Her name is Tiffany and we just met tonight. She was all over me, but nothing happened. I swear."

"The sad part is, you don't owe me any kind of explanation, Nico. Because you don't owe me anything. Just like I don't owe you anything. I could go up to a random dude in there, pull him by his shirt, and kiss him..."

"Bella...," Nico shakes his head and immediately interrupts, uncomfortable by my words.

"...But I wouldn't," I continue. "You wanna know why? Because my heart wouldn't be able to do that with someone else when it still beats for you and only you."

"She doesn't mean a thing to me, Bella."

"Yet you had your hand on her thigh as she practically straddled you." I pause as I try to muster up the courage to ask my next question. "If she tried to kiss you, would you have kissed her back?"

"No," he states before backtracking. "Maybe. I don't know." When he sees that his honesty has hurt me, he moves his body in even closer, tilting his head down to look me in the eyes and grabbing onto the top of my arms. "But what does that matter, BC? A kiss with her would be just that...a kiss." He pauses, and brings one of his hands to cup my cheek. "But a kiss with you...it's everything. It's magic."

"Magic isn't real, Nico. It's deceptive."

"It's enchanting, BC. And powerful."

"You're missing the point," I state, releasing myself out of his hold. I take a few steps away from Nico, but turn around to face him. "What are we doing, Nico? We ended things for a reason. I walked away from you for a reason." I gulp heavily as I say the last part, "You let me go for a reason."

"Yeah, and I'm not sure that I agree with that reason anymore, BC."

"You can't keep doing this to me. We can't keep doing this to each other." I let out a deep breath. "Nico, I love you, but we need to let ourselves move on."

He shakes his head like he's trying his hardest to understand. "What does that mean? What if I don't want to move on?"

I close my eyes as I utter the next few words, knowing that I won't be able to say them if I'm staring into his eyes. "But what if I do?"

He shakes his head, disagreeing with what I'm telling him. "Don't I get a say in any of this?"

I chuckle out of disbelief. "Nico, you've had a say this entire time. I've sat there and waited for you patiently. For whatever you wanted. But I'm exhausted. I'm emotionally drained, and I can't do it anymore. Trust me, you'll see. We're better off away from each other."

"That's bullshit, and you know it."

"Nico...," I try and justify.

"No, just stop," he swipes his hand in the air and says. "I don't want to hear this anymore."

I look down at the grass and close my eyes, a teardrop falling down the side of my face. My nose sniffles and I walk towards him, but he immediately turns his head to the side, looking away from me. So, I take my hand and reach for his jaw, drawing his face back to me.

"You'll have my heart, always," I tell him before planting a soft kiss to his cheek and walking away until I'm no longer in his sight.

Until I'm - once again - in the distance.