Across the Pond

Chapter 9

Her name is Cara. Nico's new girlfriend. Her name is Cara.

They met on Spring Break, and her family just happened to move to Wilmington this year. I know, what are the chances?  She's the same age as Nico, but she wrapped up her senior year at a different school. She's pretty. Prettier than me. Or so she looks in the picture that Nico showed me. She has blonde hair so bright that it can almost pass as white, and her hazel eyes have a tint of green in them. She's also rich - not as rich as Nico - but rich. Her dad owns some sort of record label, but I'm clueless when it comes to the rest of the details. At that point, I had tuned out most of what Nico was saying.

I tried to play it cool. Really, I did. I made sure that the pained look on my face didn't linger for too long. I made sure that I said all the right things - "Aw, you guys look so cute together", "Aw, I'm so happy for you". But underneath it all, I was broken. 

For most of my life, I always thought that Nico was my soulmate, and I was hopeful that, sooner rather than later, he would eventually think of me as his. You don't mistake that kind of feeling - that feeling when you know that you've met your soulmate. But after tonight, I'm questioning it. At the same time, though, I can't help but wonder: if he knew how much I loved him, would that be enough for him to walk away from her?

I mean, all my life, I've had this love that I wish I could give to him. Yet, sadly, he never was mine to give it to. And it's not even his fault. He shouldn't have to be sorry for falling for someone else. Because he didn't choose to fall, he just did. But at the same time, I'm not going to apologize for loving him. I'm not going to apologize for loving someone who isn't mine to love. Because part of what keeps me alive inside is my love for him. I guess you could say that, in a way, it keeps me going. Why should I have to apologize for that?

***

We didn't stay at Melly's for too long. I had explained to Nico that I was getting tired, when really, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to hear about Cara anymore. I didn't care. I didn't care that his parents loved her. I didn't care that she's 'the sweetest person'. I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care.

There's so much going through my mind right now that there's no way I can fall asleep. Trust me, I would love to just close my eyes so that for the next 8 hours I don't have to think about any of this, but it's not going to happen. So, instead, I reach for my phone and text Remi.

Me: He has a girlfriend.

When I don't hear from her after 5 minutes, I assume she's already sleeping, but a few seconds later, she texts me back:

Remi: Who?

Shortly followed by:

Remi: Oh.

When I don't answer, she sends another text.

Remi: I'm so sorry, B. Wanna talk about it?

Me: No. But let's hang tomorrow. I'll text you in the afternoon.

I don't wait to see her response, and place my phone facedown on the nightstand so that when it blinks with a text from Remi, I'm not tempted to reach for it.

No wonder Remi hasn't seen Nico around lately. Clearly, he's been busy. Busy with Cara.

He told me he wants me to meet her, and I said 'sure'. I mean, I panicked. What was I going to say? 'No'? At the end of the day, Nico is my best friend, and if this girl means that much to him, then I have to make the effort. Well, at least try to make the effort.

Fortunately for me, I won't be able to meet her tomorrow anyhow. Grandma Ruby is taking me into town. Her friend Wendy owns this bakery that's apparently looking to hire a part-time server. I've never had a job in my life, so I don't really know what to expect - all I know is that I could really use the money. And, now...the distraction.

***

The next morning, I decide to do things a little differently. Mostly, because I have to. I'm going on my first job interview, so my go-to denim shorts, tee, and Converses won't do. Instead, I put on this light pink sundress with puffy quarter sleeves that my mom bought for me a few months ago. I pair it with ballet flats that I just so-happened to pack. My hair is in a pony, but I'm actually wearing some makeup. Not too much, though. Just some blush and lip gloss.

When I head downstairs, mom's sitting at the dining table with a newspaper in one hand and the other wrapped around a coffee cup. Grandma Ruby is at the sink, cleaning the dishes.

"Good morning," I say as cheerfully as possible. I don't want them thinking that something's wrong.

"Morning, sweetheart," mom says at the same time that Grandma Ruby says, "morning!".

"Isabella, I fixed you up a stack of pancakes right over there," Grandma Ruby says as she bobs her head towards the counter.

"Thanks, Grams, but I'm not hungry."

"Honey, you should eat something before you head into town," mom says.

"I'm fine," I assure her. "Promise."

"Okay. Will you at least take an apple for the road?"

The thought of putting even a morsel of food into my mouth is making me nauseous, but I take one from the fruit bowl just to make her happy.

"Alrighty," Grandma Ruby says as she slips her hand through the strap of her tote bag, "Carrie darling, we should be back in about an hour. Isabella pretty much has the job, Wendy just wants to meet her first."

"Take your time," mom says as she continues to skim the paper. "I'll be here."

Grandma Ruby and I walk towards the door, but then she stops to turn around and look at mom, so I follow her motion. "Oh, and Carrie darling?"

"Yeah?"

"We're out of flour and I'm making my famous cobbler tonight. Be a dear and ask Adam, next door, if he has any."

Mom gives grandma a blank expression, but we both know she won't say no. Grandma Ruby turns back around and places her hand on my back to guide me out the door.

"I thought I saw a pack of flour in the cabinet last night," I whisper to her.

"You did," she smiles mischievously.

Gosh, the woman is sneaky.