To My Youth [BL]

[19] His Memory (3/6)

Finally, before the bell rang for the first break, I grabbed Wu Fei before he could run away.

At first, he said that he had to go to the office to deliver some papers, but I knew that was a lie.

Every time he gave me excuses, I knew where he went. He was eating by himself on the stairs that led to the storage room and rooftop.

I dragged Wu Fei outside the classroom. Perhaps he was retaliating a little, and maybe our classmates started giggling, but I wasn't focusing on them.

"Wu Fei—"

"I'm sorry," Wu Fei said while avoiding eye contact. "I must make you really uncomfortable, and I'm sorry about the mess I've caused."

"That's not what I dragged you out here for. I just... want to ask if you're alright."

"I know," Wu Fei said, smiling a little, "I probably look like I have issues to you and that I'm not normal. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable and putting you in this situation. I'll try to fix myself."

"No, that's not what I mean. I don't find it uncomfortable, and it's not affecting me as much as it is for you. You're my friend, and I care about you. I'm talking about our classmates. I..."

Wu Fei clenched his fists in aggravation as though something I said pained him even more, but I wasn't sure what I said wrong.

"It's fine. These words won't hurt me. Don't do anything. I'm sorry again."

I watched the back walk off without saying anything more.

He said he was alright. He told me he didn't want me to do anything. I didn't know if my actions would hurt him even more, so I listened to him.

"Hey, look at this photo. Another one?"

Our classmates were staring daggers at him while laughing. Words of curses littered his table.

When he stepped into the classroom, drawings, doodles, and words filled the blackboard.

A picture that caused his heart to sting while our classmates laughed.

When I walked in, standing behind him, I just watched him rub everything off before the teacher arrived.

He Rong called me out to play basketball. I remember it was a Monday afternoon, and the south wind had swept the clouds low.

Even with the splashing sunlight in all directions, everything appeared foggy, and none of the light reached me.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"I know you posted his journal and those photos. Why did you do that and say it was him in those photos when it clearly wasn't?"

"The board is anonymous. Why are you only accusing me?"

"Do you think I am stupid? It sounded exactly like you when you ridiculed the person you were talking to. I even saw you writing it."

He Rong shut his mouth because he could no longer act innocent. He knew I knew. But he still didn't tell me why he did it.

These anonymous people started posting more and more. More photos, more screenshots.

The topic started changing.

There were now screenshots of Wu Fei talking badly about Zhang Yongyin, me, and other classmates, making fun of and complaining about everyone.

These text messages spread, and spread, and spread, like this bacteria coursing throughout one's veins and into the depths of our bones.

Zhang Yongyin wasn't affected because he believed those text messages were fake. Even if it was real, he wouldn't get mad, and he couldn't care less.

Even now, I didn't know if those words were from Wu Fei, but it didn't really matter. Looking back, I remember there was once when He Rong tried to isolate Zhang Yongyin from everyone back in our junior years.

At first, I thought he was extremely arrogant, but he apologised to me.

It was strange. Why did he apologise to me, but not Zhang Yongyin?

No... When I thought about it, He Rong always expressed his contempt for those around me.

At first, I always asked myself if he hated me that much that he always tried to harm those around me. But that conclusion sounded absurd, so I scrapped that away.

After all, the way he looked at me wasn't filled with hate. It was something else that I clearly knew what it was, which others didn't, but I ignored it.

✎✎✎

More and more people started isolating Wu Fei.

It was mainly due to his two-faced attitude, piling with the homophobic comments.

Pretending to be someone friendly and caring, but belittling everyone on the inside.

That was how they saw him. Apparently, even before the eruption of those photos, it had been happening earlier on.

No one wanted to be near him. They hated him, especially with all the messages that were revealed.

It just kept piling and piling—message after message. Especially since he was always quiet, it was easier for him to be hated on.

I think I was the only one at that time that knew who was posting those screenshots and photos. But I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to do with this information. He told me not to do anything, so I didn't.

I asked Wu Fei: "Why don't you say anything? It might be hard, but you should try saying something."

"I said it's alright."

He didn't say anything and just smiled. Sometimes, telling the teachers, even parents, was the worse situation.

So, he just stayed quiet like always. And I did too. If he didn't want me to do anything, then I would stay silent.

His parents were strict and conservative, even if they were nice. His mother was extremely nice to me. She probably acted more like a mother to me than my actual mother.

She would always beckon me to eat over, or spend new years together, or sleep over.

However, Wu Fei's parents always looked at him with disappointment each time we received our exams back, even though I thought his marks were quite good.

Both his parents, especially his mother, were quite intense when it came to school that every time we received our ranks, his mother would lock him in to complete a pile of papers before he could step out of his room.

Perhaps they despised that he was always ranked second. But what about it? Did it really matter?

I didn't understand it that much since I never had parents that were strict with my studies, let alone even cared what was going on in school. I just did what was expected of me as a student.