To My Youth [BL]

[7] The Closer We Reach, the More Scars We Get (1/2)

𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦.

Within a pristine home, a loud slap resonated throughout the stifling air. The silence rang in their ears and travelled to their heads. The quiet tension was cramping that the burden of the air's weight crashed down upon the two individuals.

"Lan Yuning! Explain this to me now," his father bellowed, with his voice stabbing the boy's mind repetitively.

To make it worse, the numbing undulation from the smack stung his cheek and travelled to his ears before coursing through his face.

His father threw his phone onto the table, and the screen displayed a photo that burned both their minds.

From that moment, a rush of lethargy spread throughout Lan Yuning's spine, penning in with a hope of escape.

"Are you going to explain this to me?"

It was a photograph of him and a boy with a buzz cut, but it wasn't just an ordinary photo of two friends, but something more.

This photograph triggered a burning madness in his father's chest and head that he couldn't put his thoughts into words, let alone understand.

Just looking at this picture, Lan Yuning felt sick, but his disgust towards the boy in the photo wasn't equivalent to the derision and disdain that his father was feeling towards his own son.

"That is an old photo," Lan Yuning said.

"Old photo or not, I believed you when you said you were just friends from cram school. Do you know how shameful this is?"

"I don't talk to him anymore."

"Was his name He Rong? This is not normal. You are preparing for the most stressful months, and now I come back after my trip, and it's confirmed that you are sick to this extent. I knew I should have said something when I saw the two of you alone."

"Did I send you to Shanghai just so you could act like this? Do you see any other students from your school or in the community do this?" he scolded and threw the phone down onto the table.

A momentary silence loomed between them, with only the heavy pants of his father filling the stifling air with pressure.

Lan Yuning clenched his fists and spoke. "...I guess I am not normal."

Hearing his son's retaliating acts, the man's bloodshot eyes heated into fumes of flames as though he were about to detonate at any moment. Without warning, his father smacked him once again.

The pain from the hit went off, and his cheek bloated, with a thin stream of blood trickling from his nose. Yet, he didn't tremble. The one shaking was instead his father.

"I remember there was a time you started talking back more, and now I realised. It all started because of this. Your issue. When was the last time you met this Shanghai boy? It's not too late to fix you."

All Lan Yuning could do was watch the man burst into an instant rage while suppressing his wild shriek of terror. Lan Yuning stood still and gazed at the floor; his head still turned to the side from the blow.

The thoughts of his father were clear to all: to think the renowned son of a chief executive officer was so ill to this extent was shameful.

He wiped the thin blood seeping from his nose and kept his head hung low. The distinct breaths of his father filled the dead silence for a minute or two while he continued staring at the ground intently, uttering no sound as though he wasn't even breathing.

"Please, I will give you a chance to just fix your problem by yourself, or I will book an appointment with a doctor I know to help you," he said and rubbed his temples.

"It's a blessing that Dr. Wen is coming back from Europe this week. Even though his schedule is packed, I'm sure I will be able to get in an appointment for you."

When Lan Yuning heard those words, he finally locked eyes with his father.

Had he not been so well-versed in keeping his thoughts and emotions in check, the words that hung on the edge of his throat might have escaped his mouth and ended up blurting out nonsense. How would they fix him? Through surgery or medication?

A voice of spike and rage stirred in his head, yet the insufferable gaze of his father, who looked at him like he had a mental health condition, oppressed his words.

"The moment I saw that other boy—the one with dyed brown hair—leave our house so late, do you know how anxious that made me? What would people think if they hear my son is someone who crawls into other men's pants?"

Lan Yuning opened his mouth, but no words made it past his narrow throat, leaving him with no choice but to accept the disgusting gleam of the man before him.

Without listening to any more of his father's words, he walked out of his study and dashed out of the house.

The moment he stepped out of the house, the stiff wind that brushed past his hair crushed all his thoughts, leaving nothing but dead dust.

His father was scolding him, demanding him to come back, but his head received those words as blurred noises. They were simply nonsensical sounds that drove a bitter pain to his chest. He didn't want to hear any of it.

✎✎✎

Lan Yuning didn't know where he was walking to, but he needed to get fresh air. There were times when he was fine with himself, and he accepted himself for who he was.

He knew it wasn't his problem if others were disgusted by him since it simply meant they were just more close-minded.

Though when his father's words—or even the words from society—kept pushing him into the corner, acting like a growing thorn that wrapped around his organs, he started to think that maybe he really wasn't normal and that he needed help like what his father said.

Without realising how far he had walked, he lifted his head and saw a familiar figure who stared at him like he was popped out of a horror film.

It was Gu Xiao. He held onto his wallet, standing in front of an internet café, and a bright grin smeared across his face.

"Student President!"

This was truly a bad timing.

Lan Yuning was taken aback by his loud voice, but was confused why Gu Xiao was skipping towards him, even though it looked like he wanted to run away. Yet, Lan Yuning himself also wanted to run away because his appearance was quite unruly right now.

"What are you—" No words left Gu Xiao's mouth when he saw Lan Yuning's swollen cheek.

The genuine smile gradually fell off his face and soon became a grinning concept pasted on his lips as Lan Yuning lowered his head, letting strands of hair cover his blank eyes.

Even though it was dark out, Gu Xiao could still easily perceive the red gradient spreading through his cheek.

"Student President."

"What?"

A chuckle left his lips, and he grasped the Lan Yuning's wrist.

"What are you doing?" Lan Yuning panicked.

"Just follow me. I won't kill you," Gu Xiao joked before mumbling, "You will probably kill me first."