Chasing Shadows | ✓

Chapter Four

I TRIED TO HIDE THE FACT THAT I HAD A LIMP IN MY STEP.

The pain was like a knife being twisted in my spine. It shot up fast, erasing every thought from my head and paralyzing my body with every step I took. It didn't sit quietly in the background, rather it demanded my full attention.

The fiery pain had an almost unpleasant warmth to it, slowly eating away at my stomach. Nausea swirled inside of me, just enough to make me grasp the edge of my table for support. Being able to ignore any feelings of pain was something I had often prided myself in, but at that moment it almost felt impossible to do so. I was enveloped in a black abyss, with no way out, no matter which way I ran.

It was fine. I was used to it. It didn't bother me anymore. I could endure it. I had to.

"Are you okay?"

I jerked my head up at the feminine voice that filled my ears, only to see Natalia, the new girl, sitting in the seat beside mine. In her hands, she held a small book, her glasses slipping down the bridge of her nose as she read. She didn't look up from reading, however.

There was something strange about her, but I couldn't place my finger on it. She seemed too sweet, it was almost nauseating. She talked to me like we were friends, as though I had known her for a while and it bothered me. We weren't friends.

Forcing my body to straighten up, even though it protested, a scowl formed on my lips. The more people involved in my life, only led to more complications. I was a curse, someone who only brought bad to others. Father made sure I knew that, and was reminded every day. It was hard to see myself as anything other than the monstrous ways I was described.

"What's it to you?"

She gave a small shrug of her shoulders and spoke, "You looked like you were hurt, so I thought I'd ask."

Dragging my seat out, I all but nearly collapsed in it, my body drained of all energy. I had thought about skipping the day, but father all-but forced me to let him drop me off, as though he wanted to show to the public that he was a caring father. It was the most uncomfortable ten minute drive of my life, and I would have rathered for him to be pummeling into me than this game of pretend.

"I'm not," I said.

There always seemed to be some kind of a smile playing on her lips like she knew something I didn't. It irked me to the point where simply looking at her made me blood boil. I could almost feel the happiness radiating off of her, piercing my skin like sharp needles.

What was there to be so happy about on a Wednesday morning? It was dark, clouds covered the sky and it would start to rain soon -- not to mention we were stuck in school for the next eight hours.

"You shouldn't lie to yourself like that," Natalia hummed under her breath as she turned a page with her pinky finger.

"Excuse me?" I frowned, "What are you talking about now?"

"If you keep lying to yourself like that, one day even you won't be able to distinguish the truth from the lie," she explained in a soft tone.

She peered over at me from the corner of her eye, only to make me squirm uncomfortably in my seat. It felt like she was gazing into my soul the longer she stared, as if she were assessing me. Unsure of what to do, I stared back, studying the way her dark eyelashes swept over her eyelid. I noticed the way they weren't unnaturally clumped, and instead cast shadows, like delicate threads of silk, across her cheeks. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, and without thinking, snapped out a reply.

"You get that from one of those shitty books you read?" I broke the silence, gesturing to her book.

"You'd be surprised by how much you can learn from reading," she countered, "You should try it sometime."