Chasing Shadows | ✓

Part Two: Chapter Twenty-Three

"CAN WE TALK?"

I had a sudden hatred for hearing those words. I no longer wanted another person to tell me they wanted to talk - or that they had something to say to me. I had my fill for life of secrets and confrontations. But as Noah stood there with a sullen expression painted on his face and his cheeks flushed a bright red, I found myself nodding anyway. There seemed to be a sincerity in his words that pulled at the strings of my heart. His eyes immediately brightened at my response and he gestured towards the school doors that led out into the back for me to follow. I crossed my arms over my chest and the two of us walked in a momentary silence.

"We haven't spoken since. . . that day," Noah winced, "I guess I just wanted to check in with you. . . Are you and Travis okay?"

There was underlying hint of probing to his words and I knew he was trying to gauge just how much I knew. I presumed Travis hadn't told him anything of what he discussed with me. I gnawed on my bottom lip until it became red and shrugged.

"We just talked," I commented casually, "He opened up about some things he had been keeping from me."

"Hm?" Noah's throat bobbed up and down, "Like what?"

"Why are you so curious?" I shot back.

Noah blinked in rapid succession and lifted a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. His eyes were flickering from left to right and I noticed how he began to weave his fingers in and out of each other. The corner of his started to twitch and that had always been one of his tell-tale signs that he was either nervous or lying.

"I was worried about you," he said, "I don't like when you're alone with him."

"Why not?" I frowned, "It's not as though he's a violent criminal or something, Noah. He looks out for me, you know?"

"I look out for you," he countered, "That was my job. But then he comes along and takes that away. You didn't seem to complain either. You pretty much shoved me to the side and forgot about me."

There was a bitterness to his voice that didn't sit right with me. I released a light sigh and placed a hand on his shoulder. Noah stared at where my hand was positioned and bored his gaze into mine.

"I'm sorry that my actions made you feel that way," I gulped, "That wasn't my intention but you have looked out for me for years and for that, thank you. I know things have been kind of. . . rocky between us for a while now, however I won't forget how good you've been to me. It's not your job to constantly take care of me. But. . ."

"But what?" he frowned when I trailed off into a silence. Slowly, I retracted my hand from his shoulder and took a step back. Travis' words echoed around inside my head like a broken record. I couldn't forget them, nor could I stop them from replaying. I was constantly reminded that my so-called best friend could possess such evil intentions deep inside. There was still a part of me that was in denial; that didn't want to believe or accept what I had been told.

"I don't know," I gripped the roots of my hair and spun around in a quick circle. My mind was racing - like an uncontrollable circus. I couldn't focus enough to think straight. I kept going back and forth between the reality I was in now and the alternate universe I seemed to be living in half the time. Perhaps it was now time to finally wake up from whatever dream or nightmare I had been in.

"Nat?"

"I don't think we should be friends anymore," I blurted.

Noah's entire body froze. His face dropped to a still expression and like a light switch had been flipped, his eyes deadened in a way that I had never seen before. A sudden chilliness rose in the air and I wrapped my arms around my body tighter to retain whatever warmth I could. As though everything was in slow motion, Noah blinked over and over. His lips thinned into a straight line and finally, after a few moments, he spoke up.

"What are you talking about?"

His voice sounded rough. It made me flinch back a little and I shuffled towards the door. My heart was violently hammering away against my chest, however I managed to keep my face as passive as I could.

"I just think that we should distance ourselves a little," I winced while saying the words, for they didn't sound like something I would ever say, "I don't feel comfortable being your friend right now."

"Why not?" he pushed before his eyes widened, "Did Travis say something to you?"

"No-"

"He did, didn't he?" Noah scoffed and threw his head back towards the sky, "God. I knew he would fuck things up. He always does! Nat, let me tell what kind of a person he is. He's the kid that used to beat up the younger ones - and you know what his reason was? Because he felt like it. He would have these fits of anger and it didn't matter who you were - if you got in his way, he would unleash it on you."

I tried to cut him off, but it was to no avail, "Noah, stop-"

"No, Nat! And you know what, he got suspended for nearly beating another kid to death? He had to go to hospital!"

His words echoed around the empty yard, each one like a needle piercing my skin. Noah's eyes were wild and almost demanded for me to believe him. His chest was heaving up and down from the sheer level of frustration and anger he was feeling. His jaw was clamped and I could almost hear his teeth grinding against one another. I, however, didn't know what to feel. My eyes slammed shut. An excruciating pain resonated around my head. Too much was being thrown at me and the weight of the confessions were weighing down on my shoulders to the point where I felt like I was literally dragging around the weight of the entire world.

"And that is the kind of person you're hanging around with," he hissed at me, "He's not as perfect or angelic as you think he is, Natalie. So before you go to paint me as the bad guy with whatever stories he's fed you, maybe you should take a closer look at him first."

"He didn't tell me that," I whispered.

"Of course he didn't Natalie!" Noah exasperated, "He wants you to think of him as some perfect little angel that got sent down here like a match made in heaven but the reality is that he's not. He's done a lot of fucked up shit that he probably won't ever admit to-"

"And you haven't?" I cut him off with a narrow glare.

Noah's words died in his throat. His mouth opened and closed but I didn't let my stare waver. I held my gaze with his while he shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

"I'm not saying I haven't either," he finally croaked, "We both have, I guess. I've never claimed to be perfect. We've all made mistakes and him and I are both facing the consequences of them right now."

"A mistake?" I echoed his words, "You call trying to sexually assault someone a mistake?!"

"I didn't do anything!" Noah exclaimed with fury, "I don't know what he's told you, but I barely touched him-"

"You tried to!" I scoffed.

"And what about him?" Noah challenged, "He's actually hurt people and never apologized for it. I haven't. Although I admit that what I did - or tried to do - was fucked up, he wasn't hurt. Think about that. So if you want to paint me out as the villain, go ahead. It's your hands that will end up stained - not mine."

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