Axel

Chapter 50

From what I can see through the darkness and the slight open curtains the dark sky is decorated by a lot of white shiny dots. They're the only form of light in the room. None of us is able to let sleep take our thoughts away, they're way too loud.

The steady beating of his heart in my palm and the soft breathing causing his chest to move up and down against my cheek is in sync with mine. We lay on his bed trying to bask in the blissful feeling of the aftermath of our deliciously exhausting passion and bodies colliding with one another.

We're cuddling on top of the sheets, is a bit chilly but our body heats make up for it. I move my hand from the spot above his heart to the necklace I bought him for Valentine's Day and forgot to give him playing with it. I love it on him, it suits him well. I wrap my other hand around his lower waist feeling the cold sheets brushing gently against my arm.

My leg is over his as he has one hand brushing up and down my thigh and the other mimicing the same movement but on my spine. We have been in this position for a while now, both still in just our bottom underwear. My naked breast pressed against his chest and head tuck under his chin.

None of us dares to talk, the silence is too blissful to interrupt although at some point we'll need to. We both have some thoughts running wild in our head right now, very different ones. I need to break the silence without diving too deep too soon.

"Do you like the necklace?" I ask him.

Just dipping my toes in the water at this point.

"Of course I do. I always wanted one like this, " he chuckles lifting his hand to stroke my hair.

"I'm glad you like it, " I feel the ends of my lips tilting upwards.

"I'm glad you bought this for me even though you didn't need too."

His fingers massage my skull softly making me close my eyes for a split second. Now for the diving in part but still where I can stand on my feet feeling the wet sand under my toes.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask after another five minutes passed with no words been exchanged.

"Just how surreal this feels like, " he says keeping his voice at a low tone.

"I never thought I would have this, you know, " he motions between us with his fingers.

"I always thought that I'll end up alone. I might seem like a very confident or even cocky guy but I'm nowhere near that."

It's one of the rare times where Axels opens up about him. Just like when we were laying in bed when he stayed over because of his foster parents.

"What are you insecure about?" I tilt my head up to see his face.

"Too many things to be honest. It feels weird talking about them as you can tell I don't do that very often, " he says looking around uncertain and starts fidgeting with my rings on the hand I hold his necklace.

"Theirs always first time for everything. I have insecurities as well. I can start if you want, " I offer him a small smile.

"Yeah I think that would be nice even though I don't see anything on you that could be considered as a flaw to be an insecurity to you, " he smiles so lovingly at me.

"Well for starters I used to be insecure about my boobs when I was younger because I have small boobs and mine develop a bit later than most of my friends and that made me feel shitty for some time. Then, of course, I grow up and I grow out of that mindset and actually start liking having smaller boobs. Now I love them, I think their more comfortable and I think I can wear more tops a lot easier. So that's one I had and got over it but there is still one that I always had, " my smile drops a bit and I place my head back under his chin so I wouldn't see his deep forest-sea eyes staring at mine.