Unexpected lovers [Lauren/You]

Chapter 43

"What are you doing?" I hear her raspy voice echoing through our living room, I change my position a little so I can see the world outside the window better. Lauren coughs loudly as she walks towards the kitchen, "I already made you some tea love," I say and she smiles as she pours herself some hot tea. I can see her from the corner of my eye, I can see her watching me as I am watching her too. I shake my head slightly and turn my attention back towards the sleeping city, "why are you up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep, it's not that early though," I answer truthfully.

"It's 4 in the morning?" I hear her getting closer, warm arms hug me from behind as she places the tea next to me. I can feel small soft kisses on my shoulder, "what's going on baby? You've been acting strange this week." I shrug my shoulders in response even though we both know what's been keeping me awake. Her father and Clare, I shouldn't be thinking about it too hard but I can't help myself. I've been so worried about all of this that I leave our house like a spy, I always look around, lock the door 2 times, check if the doors are really locked for about 3 or 4 times, look around the place, I'm afraid of my own shadow sometimes, I text Lauren almost every minute of the day and I know she is sick of it by now, but I can't stop it.

"We're fine Y/N, everything is fine. Stop worrying." I really want to believe her but I can't, the feeling deep inside me is telling me to be careful. Leo is just a child, 3 years old and Maddie is almost 10 I can't risk them being hurt, the thought of them being hurt is too much for me.

"The thing is that I do, I do because I love you and it hurts to think that anything could happen to you. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you, Leo or Maddie. I wouldn't." Lauren stays quiet, like she is thinking about something, she sighs deeply and her hot breath touches my neck sweetly.

"Baby, do you ever think about the sky? Like it's never the same. Sometimes it looks so sad and sometimes so happy. Just like you." I have no idea from where that came from.

"Huh?" I try to turn around but she squeezes me even tighter.

"You're the same. Sometimes it feels like you don't have a worry in your mind, that you're the happiest person alive and then there comes a day when you look so sad that it hurts me to see you like that, so broken. And even though I try I can't do anything about it. You just push us all away and lock yourself inside the room."

"Lo, I'm sorry about the times I locked the door and shut you out. Sorry for the times I left the house without a warning, I know you were worried about me all through the night," she puts a finger over my lips to shut me up.

"Stop it, we're fine aren't we? Stop thinking about the past. The future is all that matters and we're living it right now. Stop locking yourself away, I want to see you through bad and good." I nod and she kisses my cheek gently, "I'm going back to sleep. Are you coming?" I shake my head. "No. I have to be in the coffee shop in an hour sorry baby." She looks at me worriedly, not believing me but she nods either way, comes a bit closer, kisses me gently and leaves afterwards. The truth is I am not going to work today, I am meeting Clare and Lauren's dad once and for all. I've had enough, Max and my dad are going with me, I have to do it sooner later than later.

I pick my bag up carefully, throw her over my shoulder as I walk into Maddie's and Leo's room. They are both sleeping peacfully, I lean down to kiss their foreheads sweetly, "goodbye mommy," I hear Maddie's little tired whisper and I smile down at her. I move towards our bedroom just to find Lauren already sleeping on the bed, I take the blanket from the chair next to it and cover her up gently, I give her belly a little kiss before I lean in to give her a little peck on her lips. "No matter what, don't ever forget that I love you," I whisper and before I can leave, gentle fingers wrap themselves around my wrists, "where are you going?"