Unexpected lovers [Lauren/You]

Chapter 32

I look at her and I suddenly can't do it anymore, I stand up quickly and move towards our bathroom. I lock myself in as the thoughts attack me, I am a coward, coward who doesn't know how to help her woman. That, you are. I know. You're not going to fight me on this one? No, you're right. I am not, you are here for her no matter what and she is the one who keeps on pushing you away. But I should have pulled her inside my arms, I should have never let her do that in the first place. We are talking about Lauren Jauregui. You do realize that everytime you cuddled next to her just to comfort her when she was sniffing, you do realize that everytime she had a bad day you knew it and you hugged her so tightly that you actually felt her bones? You do realize that you send her a good morning text and kissed her goodnight even when she was telling you not to?

"Y/N? Open this door now!" I hear her yell but I ignore her, I take the shower slowly, pull my jeans and hoodie on afterwards, when I open the bathroom door she is sleeping on the floor next to it. I pick her up and carry her to the bed, I put a blanket over her carefully hoping that she doesn't wake up. My lips leave a little kiss on her forehead and I walk towards the living room afterwards. I pick up the keys of the motor bike I haven't used in ages and lock the house on my way out.

I am so scared of waking her up that I push the motor towards the road just so she can sleep this over. I jump on the bike, but before I drive away I write a quick text to Alex.

Y/N: On my way to nowhere, are you in?

Alex: Dinah is here Y/N.

Y/N: Oh sorry. Forget about it then.

Alex: Okay she just yelled at me and kicked me out of the bed, I guess I am free now?

Y/N: Great. Our place?

Alex: Sounds good. See you there.

I drive around the cold streets slowly, observing the empty city as I drive through it. On my way up towards our favourite place I can feel the tears erupting inside my eyes.

Promise me that you won't let her go, that you won't let her push you away. I remember her words perfectly, I broke the promise grandma, I disappointed you. She is pushing me away and it hurts me more than I will ever admit it.

When I park the bike on the grass near the bench on top of the hill I can see Alex leaning on his car. "Lauren would kick your ass if she knew you're driving it again. She almost killed me the last time we used it to go out of town without telling them." He says smiling slightly as we move towards the bench. He throws himself on it and I follow him slowly.

"I don't think she cares right now. We had a big fight and almost had angry sex after it." He giggles at my words but when he sees the look on my face his face turns to face me, I am too focused on the city lights in front of me to care.

"What happened?"

"When we were about to do it I ran away inside the bathroom, locked myself in, took a shower, dressed myself and when I came out she was sleeping on the floor. I picked her up, put her on the bed and left. I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like everytime I try to pull her closer she pushes me even further away." Alex sighs deeply, "would it help if I told you that she is pushing everyone away? Dinah, Camila all of them. I guess she called Dinah when you were taking a shower she sounded pretty sad about a text Mitchells sent to you?" His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion.

"Mitchells kind of told me that she always had feelings for me and I ran away from her. When I was driving back home Lauren was holding my phone and she automatically read the text. I had no idea what the text said and I sure as hell wasn't planning on answering whatever crap she wrote. It just hurts to know that she doesn't trust me." Alex puts his hand over mine and I lean my head on his shoulder.