Honey
Oct 23rd
The sound of Sydney moving around woke me up out of my sleep, I rolled over over to see her standing in front of the mirror dressed formally. I glanced at the clock seeing it was 2 AM as well.
"What're you doing?"
"Nothing." She replied, I sighed in response. We still aren't on the best of terms, she doesn't even sleep in the bed with me anymore. She doesn't kiss my head before she leaves, she doesn't even come in the room unless Carter's in here.
It's like I no longer exist. And it hurts so bad to me, I blinked the thoughts away and raised up. "I think it's time we talk.." I said after a few minutes of staring at her, she continued to stare at the mirror as if I wasn't talking to her.
"Don't you think it's a lil too late for that?"
"I've been trying to figure out how to tell you—."
"—that you're depressed, right?"
"About why." I cleared up, she hummed. "You ain't wanna tell me when I asked the numerous times before, now all of a sudden you wanna tell me—."
"—because I can't keep doing this every day, you mean a lot to me and I feel like I'm losing you now—."
"—you just now starting to feel that? Shit I been feeling like that for nearly a month." She nonchalantly stated, my heart began to thump. "But I don't wanna lose you Sydney." I mumbled while sliding to the edge of the bed.
"Go back to bed, Honey." She stated while spraying some kinda spray on herself, I frowned. "You're going to see her, aren't you?" I asked her after a moment of silence.
"Yup."
"Why?"
"Business. I ain't fucking her." She stated, I frowned. "I didn't say you were, I just wanna know why you've been there more than here."
"So when you see me giving my attention to something else, you wanna speak up then. Shit don't work like that, Honey.." She said, that word stinging my ears and I didn't hear anything else she said.
"What did you just call me?"
"Yo' name." She said back while smoothening her shirt out, I stood up and was about to make my way over but she went to the dresser and grabbed her phone, wallet, and keys.
"Sydney it's 2AM... you're driving 5 hours to go and see another woman—."
"—go lay yo' ass down, Honey. We'll talk later." And with that she left out of the door, I didn't even feel the tears come down my face. I just tasted the salt when I went to my lick my lips. Did I lose her?
This is my fault.
If I would've just told her.
But how can I tell her?
What can I say?
