Wills' past. Wills' words.

Entry No. 1

Get your lazy asses off the ground in 5 seconds!
One.. Two.... Five.
And the ground is clear. Like a magic. Only 3 people remaining. Him, an instructor, and me.
Tonight's gonna be just like last night, and 4 nights before that.

This is the hardest part. When rest everyone is off for the night officially. Though night is not over, but atleast they'll have some time to rest.
But for me, days are far too long.
"you may leave". Obviously it's not for me.

The instructor takes a breath of relief, salutes Col James and runs as fast as the cadets did. Who wants to stay close to a man as deadly as him.

Except me.
I have no choice. Not that I hate him.. Well..not as much as others.
People ask me- how do I survive with him. Well, they have no idea how I keep myself up. How much effort I have to put to stop myself from running away, or from saying "enough". Trust me, its harder than the workout he makes me do.

His words cut like sword, and his punches.. It pains even when I think about them.
Being his son doesn't help me to be less scared of him. His seniors don't get in his way, who am I to have any amount of courage.

Army says you stand one step behind your senior. It's funny how people stay two steps away from him, out of pure fear.

He shows little mercy in this second half of my training. If I fall during Pushups, he gives me time to surface my last reserves of energy and continue.

My speed is bound to get slow by this time. But he doesn't add on to the pile like he does in the morning if my timing is not satisfactory.
Now, he's more into pushing myself out of my limits. Every night I'm surprised at myself, as to how much can I push.
He will make me run for sometime again. Come to think of it, I'm mostly running throughout the day.

Early morning before my batchmates report, I would have ran enough already.
Then whole batch runs together, including me.
Then during whole day if anyone of my squad commits a mistake, I'll be punished along with him, yeah side effects of being the commander. And the punishment mostly is running.
Then lastly now, when everyone has left, and I'm here to sweat out the remaining energy, by running.
I'm pretty sure he's preparing me to run in case I'm about to be caught by enemy.

After I fall at his feet totally breathless, he makes sure that I run one more round, just to satisfy his mind that he has drained me till the last drop.
I hate him at that particular point, because despite of knowing what is going to happen to me after I go back, he worsens things for me.

Yes ragging is strictly banned here, and seasoning doesn't exist anymore, on paper of course. But he knows very well what happens in the building we live. He has gone through it, and he has done it to his juniors, and we know that he instructs every 2nd year batch to *season* 1st year batch.

"Cmon boy, you don't want to go back and sleep? Run faster!"
I will stumble and finally fall at his feet again. This time not even trying to get up or look up to him. That's my way of saying that I'm done.
But it's upto him to finish off or make me suffer more. There's this thing about finishing chapters, he's done only when he says he's done. Till then, you keep swearing silently and sweating violently.

"So, how is your accommodation? Having cozy nights?"
"yes sir, it's good" (yes sir, the screwing is as per your standards.)
"Tell the boys that if they have any problem in the hostel, come to me directly."
"Roger sir". He'll shoot anyone who goes and complains against our seniors seasoning us at night. Mindgames, father.. Mindgames.

But I'm not sure whether he knows what is my state at the end of that session every night.
The seniors were trained by him, like us. He left them in a bad form every night and ordered their seniors to orient them as well. There is not a single person who doesn't hate him. Everyone wants him dead, or tortured atleast.
Imagine the situation where you want to kill someone as a revenge, and his son appears from somewhere as your junior. And you're allowed to take your revenge.
I fear the day will come soon when my seniors will know about me and Nick, we'll be dead then.

On top of it, when you happen to be squad commander who gets punished for all their squad members' mistakes, you'll curse your life.

Time for the last part of today's training. Though next day has officially started, its past 12.
But yesterday is not over with yet.
My batchmates must have gathered in front of seniors by now after a break of almost one hour. On the other hand, I'll take off from here, just to land on that hell. No breaks for me.

"Life will not be easy son." It rings in my ears all the time. Yes father. I know. Because this life is yours.