CHAPTER FIFTY FOUR. IS IT WORTH IT?

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Zarad narrowed the distance between him and Hitomu in an instant. His body reacted to the anger that was welling up inside him when he heard the words spoken by the person whose neck was grasped by his hand. The power he exerted against the neck in his hand, which he could snap anytime he wanted was hesitating yet at the same time it was refusing to back away.
Hitomu stayed still letting his fingers get a grip around his neck. He could clearly feel the fingers clawed around him tremble with hesitation. Hitomu's eyes softened in an instant. He was sure this person was bound to hurt him a bit this time, yet his heart still refused to do so.
Was the provocation not enough?

"Why did you stop?" He asked looking at him right into his dark eyes. "Are you not going to kill the person who was involved in your mother's death?"

The fingertips around Hitomu's neck stiffened. Zarad could feel his soul tremble when he heard the 'kill' word from Hitomu's lips. His body refused to act out the violence that was stirring his mental state at the moment.
His brows wrinkled in pain as he closed his eyes for a second to calm himself.
No! He cannot hurt him! Not hurt him! Don't hurt him!
He cannot lose this person! He cannot afford to lose a person he care for for the second time.
A few seconds passed by as Hitomu stared at the other's face who had closed his eyes. The dark colour enveloping the shoulders of the taller man began to lose its thickness, gradually becoming thinner and lighter, fading to a relatively faint shade. Because Zarad's eyes were closed at the moment he did not witness the pair of brown orbs softening as they watched him closely.

Zarad couldn't even bring himself to hate his mother despite knowing how evil and greedy she was because he knew her love for him was deep and he too loved her back as much as she did. So there was no way he would come to hate the second person he loved in this world so easily. Hitomu's presence in his heart had already grown to the point he had accepted him as the man he loved. There was no way he had the strength to hurt the person he loved. He would never allow himself to hurt Hitomu.
At this point it was not infatuation anymore. His adoration for him had already taken a perfect shape of love.
That's right.

"I love him!" Zarad had already accepted it long ago but never used the word love to confirm his feelings. His fingers could still feel the faint throbbing of Hitomu's neck against his fingertips. He could feel the pulse of the other person, calm and warm. The skin against his hand was soft and supple, with a bit of roughness around the edge because of the burn marks in that area. He could also feel the breath of the other person spraying onto him. This feeling of closeness eased his nerves making him feel relaxed as he retracted his fingers away from Hitomu's skin. The sanity in his eyes returned to normal. His aura and halo vanished completely, turning back to normal.
He finally opened his eyes and the pair of beautiful eyes were back to usual as it was. He used the same look he used to stare at Hitomu everday to look at him right now.
The other person met his gaze.
Zarad trembled once more.


"Aren't you going to ask me...." Hitomu's eyes averted a bit as he continued. "Questions you are curious about?"

Zarad simply stared at him, not speaking. He was! But after contemplating a bit he decided not to. Instead he went off topic. "Do you believe i killed the king?" He didn't need to state the obvious but don't know why he did.

Hitomu was taken aback by bit. "Yes and no." He answered briefly. Yes because Zarad did stain his sword with the king's blood. And No because the king was the one who had killed himself. As for the possibility of what would had happened if the king had not committed suicide, he was sure that was impossible. King Satt would rather kill himself then letting the bastard son of his murder him. This point was simply impossible. Also, what did he, a person who had killed thousands, had a say in it.
"You just killed the murderer of your mother. Nothing more and nothing less." He stated as a matter of fact.

"But, next time, before taking a step, do consider asking this to yourself." Looking Zarad in the eyes he added tilting his head to the side. "Is it worth it?"
Hitomu said this in regard to his possible future actions. If Zarad were to act out his path accordingly his revenge wouldn't end here.

"Is it worth it?" This question rang in his ears hitting him hard. Zarad fell into a deep silence. Is it worth it?
Suddenly he felt tired and exhausted. His body slump down, his chin falling on Hitomu's thin shoulder. His hands grabbed onto his frail body for support. The body that came in contact with his flinched a bit before it regained its usual calm. Zarad was mentally exhausted. He buried his face in Hitomu's neck, feeling the calm aura of the other person, breathing in his scent which was calming and relaxing. He liked this feeling. Zarad reflexively wraped his arms around Hitomu's waist, hugging him tightly to feel the warmth for some more.

"I love it!" He thought to himself.

Zarad was unaware that he had spoken his thoughts aloud. Hitomu who had heard it felt his heart tremble a bit for unknown reasons. He did not reject the man's embrace subconsciously and just stood still.
After staying in this ambiguous position for a very long time he finally felt the need to speak as the other person seemed to have no intention of parting away.

"Have you calm down yet?"

"Hm."

At his confirmation, "Then we better move."

Zarad finally lifted his head to face Hitomu as the other person replied.
"Your aura, it must have been spotted. For now, lets move our location and settle down for a bit before the waves calm down."

"Hm."

Sure enough some people did spot the royal halo from afar. A few hours later a group of two people arrived at the spot near the pond.
Revard stared at the water that was stained with the touch and smell of blood. His eyes fluctuated at the sight.

"Zarad that bastard!" He couldn't help but curse his childhood friend. He had just returned from the Moon empire when he heard news about the whole mess.
Just how many things did that bastard hide from him?
As for the matter regarding the murder, Revard was very clear on this matter.

It must have had something to do with her!

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