Light of my Life

32. Small but it's still progress

Star's POV:

I've been going for therapy once a week for a little more than a month now. It's going... Pretty well. I was scared of finding the right therapist first but my therapist, an extremely beautiful and smart young woman Dr. Joanne Vishwas is awesome.

It was difficult to open up but by the 3rd session I was rambling every issue which led to her making me create a list so we can solve each one at one time. It's been really good to talk to someone about everything I've been afraid off. Of course along with talking comes 'homework' which is just some coping mechanisms and different ways to approach situations. I'm currently on my way for the 6th session.

It is a nice place. Cream walls with green couches and a few paintings on wall. And there was a coffee table in front of us. Other than that the room was bare yet giving a sense of safe haven.

"So Star, how do you feel today?" She asked the question every time we meet. It would've been annoying if it were someone else but it's my therapist asking the vital question of the day.

"I've been... Okay. I um had a bit of an argument with my mom last night but I didn't burst out in anger like I usually did. I did cry though" I chuckled bitterly recalling the events of last night.

"That's alright. You're making progression Star. That's really good! You still seem upset though. Do you mind telling me what it was about?" She asked carefully, as if not wanting to upset me further.

I sighed and nodded. Might as well. "She... Doesn't like that I'm a lesbian. Refuses to accept that I have a girlfriend who I love very much" I smiled a little at the thought of Nina.

"I see. Why do you think she refuses to accept?"

"She keeps claiming it's a phase and that I'm confused but I've had suspicions that I wasn't straight since I was a kid and I've finally accepted me for who I am. I think she's just mostly scared of what other people are gonna say" she nodded, "I don't care though" I added before she could respond.

"I'm happy you accept yourself Star. It's important to accept yourself. As for your mother, maybe give some time. She might come around. But remember, even if she doesn't, it's your life. You decide who you want to be with and no one else" she said and I nodded at her words. She's right.

"So, tell me about your girlfriend"

I smiled and blushed slightly. "Her name's Nina. She's just so awesome. Down to earth, smart, sarcastic at times, kind, supportive, non judgemental, beautiful and genuine"

"She sounds like a good person"

"She is. I love her. And I'm really happy with her" I grinned making her smile softly as well.

"I'm glad you have such an supportive person in your life Star. You do have people who love you in your life. Including your mother. Just because people left doesn't mean there's no one else. They just weren't meant to stay" she said, regarding the fact that I felt unloved and unworthy because my old friends just left without a word. Sometimes you never get closure and have to move on with life because there's so much to life than dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. And that's what I've been working on. Letting go of the past failed friendships.

"Star, I see that you haven't mentioned your father's reaction. Why is that?"

We rarely brought my father into the conversation and I definitely do not like that.

"Because his opinion never mattered. He doesn't care. He probably forgot about that the very next and it's been more than a month so no shocker" I shrugged making her frown but nod. She noticed my hostility on the topic but didn't call out on it and I was thankful. I'm not ready to talk about that yet.