TO LAST A LIFETIME

LOSER

Wesley

I mentally cursed Helena for the hundredth time. What exactly did she want from me? Why was she doing this? She was quite aware of the divorce benefits, the benefits she was clearly interested in. Why didn't she just grab it and let me be, Why was it so hard for her to decide what she wanted?

I felt inwardly terrible for Gennie, the position I led her into. I really wanted to get Helena off my mind, the terrible things she said and did, overwhelmed my mind, controlling every bit of me. I wanted to revive something dead inside of me. Something I was now sure I still had.

Hurting Gennie this way was the least I expected since I thought it was simply going to be a one night stand thing and we'd both go separate ways without knowing anything about each other. Still, it was just a fling and nothing more, not until Helena's call put us both in this awkward position.

I looked at her, she got up from where she sat on the couch. The dress fitted loosely on her with the zip down, her dark hair was a bit messy and her beautiful face red in rage. Gennie didn't deserve this at all.

"There's nothing we can do, not that we can undo what happened last night!" I heard her say, and instantly went silent the seconds our eyes met. She actually was throwing daggers, I couldn't face her, not with the way I was feeling inside..like a loser. Maybe I was, only a loser would do that to a woman.

I couldn't say another word. Damn! I didn't know what to say.

"I can't continue with this Wesley, please don't bother coming up to find me, I'm not going to be another woman's home breaker." she spoke loud and clear, but I interrupted her, just to clear up any misunderstandings.

"It's not because of you Helena and I would be getting a divorce, that came up before I came to New York so it has nothing to do with you!"

"I'm glad to hear that. And I know that quite well!"

"I just wanted you to know!" I replied.

"Any kids?" She abruptly asked after a little pause.

"No, none!

"Oh!" Was all she said, she didn't ask why I was glad she didn't.

"I'm sorry I led you on that way, I should've been honest with you from the start but I just wanted to be with someone that knew nothing about me and wouldn't judge me. I hope you don't hold this against me!"

She chuckled. Seeming less annoyed, brushing back the hair that fell just above her breast.

"Why would I? Not like we had something serious or we were in a relationship, that was just a nightstand, my only problem is that you're married, although you'll be getting a divorce, until then, you're still married and I don't do married men, it's distasteful!"

Her face was dead serious, she had morals. It shocked me to think Gennie had principles and I couldn't help but admire her the more. I knew whatever we shared last night wasn't going to last but then I only wished it could.

It was hard, watching her go, but hadn't she already made it clear she didn't do married men? Helena's timing really sucked, Gennie waking up to such news, after what happened the previous night, sadly was horrendous. I sighed.

I sighed again as the door closed. Gennie left, for good. It was hard to watch her walk away, maybe it was because I felt I wasn't fair to her, or maybe it was because I knew definitely, I was going to miss her, her little talks, the feel of her body. Maybe a bottle of Hennessy would be enough to wash off this sticky feelings deep inside of me. I had to order it as quickly as possible.

I made my way to the telephone on the desk by the nightstand, then, I stopped when I noticed her jacket on the floor. She left her jacket. On the other side were her silver earring and her strapless bra! Did Cinderella really have to leave some things?

I took them off the floor, instinctively, I moved towards the door, then it hit me,

please don't bother coming up to find me...

I sighed, sitting on the bed, dropping them on the bed. I groaned, raking my fingers through my hair.

The doorbell rang, she must've been back for her jacket and other stuff. I took the jacket towards the door.

Two room attendants stood by the door when I opened it. The blonde stood with wide eyes. I frowned, noticing her gaze settling on my bare chest before she smiled up at me.

"We're here to clean up!" She said between smiles.

"Oh! Just a minute!" I closed the door and went back inside, took a fresh t-shirt from the drawers and a pair of sweatpants and a black leather jacket,
I quickly wore them, combing out my hair with my fingers, my fingers found some black sunglasses on the dresser. I didn't know what I was doing, all I knew was that I needed a walk, maybe a run, or a drink, anything to make this feeling go away. I felt like the biggest loser of the century. I needed to go somewhere, somewhere far to clear my mind.

When I opened the door again, the attendants were still there, I nodded them on as they went inside. I walked away. Didn't know where I was headed, but I had to go somewhere.

I found the Harley bike at its spot in the parking lot exclusively for bikes. I signed and got the keys, I got on it, started the ignition, it roared and drove off.

The cold wind blew my face, I appreciated the coldness from the falling snow, I had to get to a bar down the street or somewhere else, I had to clear my head as soon as possible, before the holidays were over, before I resumed work. Taking all these problems to work would be bad ideas. I sighed as I increased my speed.

Nothing would ever be the same anymore, not after meeting Gennie, not after having a taste of something different, not with the lovebites she left on me, not with the way she said my name...