Loving Ashlynn (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 56 - Truth (Brennan Conrad POV) Pt.1

Chapter 56 – Truth (Brennan Conrad POV) Pt.1

Right from wrong? I always felt like it was just this thin line that separated the two and that sometimes it was okay to toe the line.

I was wrong. Obviously. There was no such thing as toeing the line when it came to what I had done. I could twist the truth to fit my warped narrative but that didn't make it suddenly right.

I was wrong. I had done something wrong. In the process I had lost so much but at the same time I'm not exactly sure I'd not do the same exact thing. In no way was I saying that I'd help Devin the way I had before. No. I wouldn't cross that line again.

What I was saying though was I think if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I would not change anything. I was miserable, lives had been lost and it was all weighing me down. I had no one to blame but myself. I accepted that.

But – and of course there was a but – this experience revealed a side to Devin that I hadn't previously gotten to see. I think I thought she was perfect, that she might be erratic but she was not like Taylor.

We were on the same page.

We wanted the same things.

A united goal. School. Experience. Jobs. Marriage. Start our own family. I wanted that. Sure it would take years and it wouldn't be this easy road – but I wanted that. With Devin.

Everything was effortless with her and God; I loved all the things I hated about her. I could read her like an open book, no secrets between us.

Then I helped her hack our servers. People died and while I was drowning in insurmountable guilt first, Devin was deflecting any and all parts she played in what happened.

As far as she was concerned my aunt Angela and father were to blame despite the fact that by helping her, I removed all traces of tampering.

She wasn't as skilled as I thought she was, and I shouldn't have aided in her quest.

So in a way, I learned who Devin was from the fallout.

And in the ever-present argument in my head, I toed a new line. Loving the girl I truly believed she was and could still be and the person that I had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing these last two months.

We weren't as mature as I believed us to be.

Worse now, a part of me wondered if my dad and mom saw these little things that I thought did not exist and still let it go on? Playing Devils Advocate; would you have listened to them Brennan? I ask myself.

Doubling back, now here was new details that left me slightly more unsettled. First, Taylor murdered Jules – the sibling Javier and the rest of the Rosario's rarely spoke of.

Second, Taylor had murdered Silas. Crueler? At the moment all I could see was how instrumental she was in putting the pieces of the family back together again. Flashes like snapshots flicker in my mind's eye and each tear she wept, each sob she choked back, each comforting smile she sent towards my or any of my siblings way... each picture sickens me.

Taylor has left a mark on my family that we will never be able to erase. God how would we even start to do such a thing? In each new memory we made without Silas, has Taylor.

~ 0 ~

My granddad Antone sends Javier and I out from his office after speaking with my parents, and despite everything Taylor has done to our family, I see that she's done more to her own.