Is It Ever Enough?

Chapter 22

"Mmmm. Blake, no." "NO!"

Carina wakes up to the familiar sounds of Maya whimpering and wriggling in her sleep, calling out for someone. She props herself up on her elbow and begins tracing around Maya's body softly, willing it to relax and ground her enough to stay asleep. Carina knew how badly the blonde needed to rest, and her body needed the time to recover. She felt a squeeze of worry at the sight of how tightly Maya was gripping the sheets and how fast she was breathing, her face twisted into a scowl and her eyebrows furrowed. She looked so... pained and broken. Not even in her sleep could Maya rest and be free.

Now it was Carina's turn to stare at the ceiling and try to fall back asleep. 

Why am I so drawn to Maya? Why is it that I always get caught in the pull of someone needing to be fixed? I promised myself, no more broken people. She did call me beautiful, and she's an amazing listener. No one has ever asked me about my Mama before... or understood what I meant by the light she gave me. Maya is trying... in her own way. I will not tolerate this put-up walls bullshit, especially if someone is going to flip their lid as much as she does. No way.

Carina is thrust from her thoughts when Maya suddenly elbows her in the chest, fully acting out her night terror. Before she can intervene, Maya flails her bad hand quickly and slams it directly into the metal rail of the bed with a heavy thud, jolting the blonde awake as she cries out in pain.

"OOowwwWW!" She howls, snatching her hand to her chest, breathing rapidly and darting her eyes around the room rapidly and trying to make sense of her world. Her night terror has blended with her reality, making it rather difficult to settle herself down.

"No, dad no! I'm sorry, I tried, I really did! NO!" Maya yells, scrambling and kicking to get out of the hospital bed, earning herself a very quick trip to the tile floor, landing on her bad shoulder with a loud thump. Maya ignores the pain she feels radiating from her neck and arm and backs herself into the corner of the room, standing defensively and coming back to earth, as her heart fights to calm down. She slowly realizes where she is, and who she is with as the room comes into focus, her night terror fading away.

Carina had jolted herself out of the bed at the sight of Maya smacking her hand. She stood stunned at the whole ordeal that lasted all of about 15 seconds before Maya was huddled in the corner of the room. Her eyes were dark and wide, her posture rigid. Carina had no idea what happened or how to proceed.

"Bella? Are you okay? Wha-" Carina tries as she slowly walks toward the blonde, careful not to startle her.

"Get. Out." Maya hisses through gritted teeth.

"Maya, can you hear me? You had another nightmare. You were calling out and crying in your sleep and you've got to be in pain." she utters softly, once again stuck in a back and forth between hurricane Maya and the mushy, adorable version she fell asleep with. It puzzles Carina how quickly things can change for the firefighter.

Maya shakes her head and her eyes flash even darker as she stands to face Carina, a look of pure rage on her face. "I should have never broken the rules for a quick fuck like you. Get the fuck out, now." Maya raises her voice, veins bulging in her neck and forehead as she closes the distance between the two women while pointing at the door. She picks Carina's sweater up and shoves it forcefully into her chest and pushes her toward the door.

"Out!" Maya commands, as if she were speaking to a dog. Her nasty tone seemed to imply Carina was nothing more.

Carina feels a heat burn through her chest; unlike any she has ever felt. A tumultuous mix of rage and disappointment courses through her. "Fuck you, Maya. You have a lot of nerve." with a huff, Carina storms out of the room, a few tears slipping down her cheeks.