Is It Ever Enough?

Chapter 14

I'm not a huge fan of trigger warnings, and I've warned in the description of this story, but this chapter might be unnerving to some. There's mentions of weight loss, depictions of drug use/abuse and some emotional/verbal abuse.

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The light from the bathroom slowly disappears as the gentle click of the bathroom door latches, leaving Carina in the dark, save for the moonlight tracing in through the window. She hears the shower turn on as she sits on the edge of the bed, stunned, dejected and confused. "Did I do something wrong? Did I tease her too much?"

Her heart aches for the blonde, completely worried and hesitant to leave her while she's both drunk and having harmful outbursts. A levelheaded and fine person doesn't smash a liquor bottle against the wall, let alone drink half the bottle in one go. Carina is beyond curious about what she saw on her phone that might have caused such an immediate and violent reaction.

She doesn't want to leave; not just for shallow reasons as their sex had been fantastic, but for reasons she couldn't define. The firefighter was intoxicating, quite literally. Her physique - albeit on the thinner side, was still built, broad and impressive. I mean those arms, am I right?!  Her smile was gorgeous, and those baby blue eyes had her hooked, whether they flashed an angry and sorrowful gray or a softer and gentler blue. She just couldn't look away.

After a moment of thought, Carina decides to lend a hand and tidy up the mess from their night, sheets and articles of clothing strewn about and glass coating a majority of the floor. As she returns with a broom and begins sweeping up the shattered glass, she overhears a faint noise coming from the bathroom. Pressing her ear to the door, her heart sinks further; faint whimpers that roll into full on sobbing. Long, drawn out, chest racking sobs are heard, filling the room over the top of the streaming water.

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As Maya's thoughts swirl and infiltrate her mind, she begins scrubbing feverishly at her body, trying to wash away the pain and ugliness of her current life. Normally when Lane comes at Maya and hurls insults her way, it elicits an angry and fuming response from her. Rarely do his criticisms cause her to cry but being coupled with the slanderous article was enough to shove Maya over the edge and she hasn't even read it yet. She took pride in being 19's first female Captain and took an even greater pride in knowing she ran one of the tightest fire houses in the state. This article was going to create a rift even deeper than the one caused by her getting Captain over Andy, and she knows it. She just got the team to trust and interact with her again, and that's what hurts the most. The impending fear of being alone, so painfully and desperately alone once again was unbearable. It had nearly killed her this last time and her strings were now dangerously thin. Maya had felt herself unraveling and was in dire need of someone to pick up the pieces alongside her; not criticize and chastise her publicly. The last three weeks had taken a toll on her, it felt as if she had aged several years. She could feel it in her bones and her chest as the sobs couldn't be held back any further. She let them rack her aching muscles and didn't hold back.

After the alcohol had a chance to fully sink in, Maya was able to compose herself enough. Her body began to droop as she was utterly exhausted, but her mind wouldn't shut up. She needed something positive, some form of hit to keep her going or the rest of the night was sure to be a long one. She steps out of the shower, dries herself off and ties the towel tight around her waist. Feeling the urge of curiosity and needing some good news to end her night, Maya steps on the scale, just as she usually does after showering. Smiling devilishly to herself as she observes the number dipping lower than when she was admitted to the hospital.