Adopted by the Akatsuki

Adopted by the Akatsuki 17

ALL ITACHI FANGIRLS I'D ADVISE YOU TO RUN AND HIDE! I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU! 

your parents left you many things, they passed on to you their ability to read minds, be careful  who's mind you go into because not all minds are pretty. and some secrets are better left hidden. sometimes things are kept locked away for specific reasons. think of what you parents would have wanted.

i bolted upright in terror. i was shaking, i was drenched in sweat, and my breathing were quick shallow gasps. why had that happened? the only nightmares i ever had was Hidan coming after me, normal kids grew up with nightmares of the Boigie-man, my nightmares had been of Hidan. as far as i was concerned he was the boggy-man. so why was i having a nightmare about what the ghostie had said?

i shook my head to clear it. the only people i'd ever been around were the Akatsuki, end of story, and i tended to try and stay out of their minds, i'd been trying but i sometimes ended up there on accident. Itachi's had some kind of force-filed around it and so did Madara so i couldn't get any info on my parents due to that, and everyone else's mind was either downright creepy-Orochimaru/kabuto/zetsu-or just downright weird-Pein had some physco obsession with destroying rain.

as if on cue i caught one of Konans thoughts. apparently i'd been screaming and thrashing and then i'd suddenly stopped-when i'd come to, bolting upright, drenched in sweat-and she wondered why.

"what happend?" she asked me.

i shuddered and burrowed deeper into my sleepy-bag(sleeping bag little kid style) "scary."

"did you have a nightmare?" she asked.

"scary." i said again.

Konan gave me a look that i couldn't read but she didn't push it any more.

why did those words scare me so much? what did my parents leave me? what would my parents have wanted? what secrets? why were some thing better when kept locked away?

i went fishing with Kisame again the next day. Kisame got mad at me because i caught the bigger fishie. it was sad to see the fishy die-but hey, it tasted really good, *add some lime juice onto it and kings would have been jealous of my little feast-i will sue any king who jacks my feast* (my dad sometimes says that when we have fried fish on Sunday for breakfast-weird family tradition- and all credit goes to him for that quote because i don't want my dad to sue me)

we caught enough fish to last us a few days.-Kisame caught the most fishie, but i caught the biggest fishie.

as it turns out Itachi's fire-style jutsu was actually useful for something besides blowing up the kitchen.

funny thing, there were a few trees and were growing limes on them. YUM-YUM YUMMY!!!!! (i will never understand how the rest of the Akatsuki were able to eat the foul-yucky-evil-ness that was tartar sauce.eeeeewwwwiiiiiii!!!!!!!

i had a big bowl that i'd stolen from Konan where i put all the lime juice in so that i could dump my fried fishie in like i giant oreo cookie! the only difference was that the Oreo was sweet, the fish tasted fishy, something was very fishy about the fish (fishy as in suspicious, get the joke? it tasted fishie/it tasted suspicious and its a fish?)

Hidan was the only one that had an issue with eating the fish.

"aren't there defenseless dear you can massacre or just shoot a birdie out a tree?" i demanded.

Hidan gave me a glare and stormed off. no one spared the guy a second glance-lets face it, we'd all be better off if he was gone-

three minutes later i swear i heard tarzan's jungle cry, and so of course i abandoned my tasty fishie and went to find loincloth man-(tarzan). it was Hidan trying to kill this deranged baboon that was rubbing its rear in his face. needless to say i broke down laughing. i was sad because i didn't find tarzan, but it was still funny to see a baboon rub his over-sized rear in Hidan's face.

needles to say i stole someone's camera and took pictures like a physco. of course, half of them featured Hidan trying to kill me.

i asked if i could put them on youtube, no one answered so i took that as a yes. i was about to put them ALL OVER YOUTUBE when this evil notice showed up asking me for a password

WHAT?! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EVIL PLAN WAS FOILED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FOILED I TELLYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FOILED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but evil villans always had a backup plan. i got onto Peins laptop and uploaded them to youtube via that computer-i already knew that his password was Konan- what else was it supposed to be?

Pein came after me for it while i was playing cards with Konan.

Konan was the nice one among all the evil guys and said that she'd given me permission.

Pein still looked like he was going to wring my neck the first chance he got. he left the tent saying very mean words.

Konan got a weird smile on her face-it was a smile that i never waned to see again. she looked like Hidan right before he was going to kill somebody. she left the tent and came back ten minutes later with a laptop. she'd created a fake account on facebook and now the embarrassing pictures i'd taken of Hidan were ALL OVER FACEBOOK AS WELL AS YOUTUBE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

well, apparently S-Rank criminals are also addicted to Facebook and Youtube because Hidan showed up and decided to show everyone the embarrassing pictures i'd taken and demanded to know who had posted them of facebook/youtube. he never found out that i was behind it, but we did find out three days later that Madara was the one that tweeted about it.

Itachi looked up his fan-page on some website and was now set on destroying it because he had an EIGHT PACK and these idiot, fan-girls said that he had a SIX PACK. he was insulted. needles to say that the next day that website did not exist-and mysteriously, the death of about 8000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 girls was reported the same day-who knew Itachi had so many fan-girls?- and to top it off, Itachi had missed a couple gatrillion-idk if that's a real number.

Zetsu left ten minutes later and showed up on tv when the camera dude moved and they focused on a very fat zetsu devouring fangirl after fangirl. needless to say the idiot camera man kept the camera rolling and his death was displayed on tv. he dropped the still rolling camera so we just sat there and watched Zetsu eat people for about three hours and then the tv was turned off.