{Alycia Debnam-Careyxyou} Home Behind the Desktop

16

"It's all clear!"

I heard the cop say as he walked out of the front door.

It was cloudy out, the cool breeze blowing through the sleeves of my jacket, giving me goosebumps. I stood there, unable to take my eyes off of the house in front of me. I knew I was in the clear, the cop made sure nobody was home and that I was safe to enter, but nothing about it looked safe. I knew it was empty, but it still gave me chills, and with just the sight of it, all I could hear was brain telling me to run.

It was strange, because it wasn't the house that did anything to me. From an outside perspective, it looked nice and well kept. The grass was always cut, the exterior freshly painted, and the garden tended to. To everyone else, I'm sure it looked welcoming, but to me, all I could see behind it was terror. It was the people that lived inside of it. It was the children hurt by those people. It was me, broken and used, begging for help, but never receiving it.

"Are you going inside or..?"

I turned my head to the police officer beside me, breaking me from my thoughts. I blinked my eyes and shook my head, snapping out of it. "Oh, yeah.. sorry."

I cautiously made my way to the front door, taking a deep breath before pushing it open. When I opened the door, the sight before me was quite unexpected. The scene of the last night I was here suddenly played through my head again. My father standing where I was, pointing his gun at Alycia. The terror in her eyes as she looked into the eyes of a cold blooded man. Gray running panicked toward him..

My eyes widened at the room, surprised that it was almost untouched from that night, besides some tape and plastic that I assume the police used to investigate. I carefully stepped over the police's work, being sure not to ruin their scene, while I shook my head, trying to narrow my focus to the task at hand. Just grab your stuff and go.

I quietly made my way down the hall, unable to break my cautious habits in this house. I reached my room and opened the door, my shoulders sinking at the inside. Everything was torn apart. I mean, it's not like any of it mattered to me, I hardly owned anything here besides some clothes and a few other small things, but the way he went out of his way to wreck everything in here made my heart sink.

I let out a sigh, walking over to my tipped over dresser and picking up a few articles of clothing. I began adding things here and there to a small bag I found at the bottom of my dresser, and when I finished, I walked straight out of the door. I forced myself not to look back at the room as I walked away. I knew that if I did, I would get myself lost in dissociation. There were too many memories here, memories that I'd like to bury forever and never have to deal with again. The pain it caused was too great.

I walked out the front door, locking it behind me as the cop had instructed and stepped off the porch.

"All set?" the man asked me, eyebrows raised and giving me a thumbs up. I smiled at him, returning the gesture.

"Alright, I'm gonna head back to the station, do you want a ride back home?" he asked me. I paused turning to look at the house before facing him again.

"Actually, I think I'm alright. I'm going to hang back for a second and then I'll take off. But I won't go inside or anything."

He gave me a shrug, hopping his cop car before giving me a wave and taking off. As soon as he drove off, I turned back around, my body facing my haunted house.

That was the best way to describe it, honestly. It's walls will always haunt me, and as much as I don't want to believe that's true, I know it is. The past cannot be buried and I will not be able to forget no matter how hard I tried.