i see you

Done deal! (Evangelia+Noah) (self harm)

Evangelia:
I was on the ice doing the routine for about 4 hours. I lost track of time, but as soon as I realized that they were closing I knew how late it was. I check my phone and see 63 missed calls from Isla...

"Hey what's going on?!?" I ask stressed out, thinking something had happened.

"Me and Jason are worried sick! You've been gone for hours and... I heard about your parents. I'm sorry! Please come home so we can talk!" He says

"Yeah, uh I've been in the ice I just need a minute to gather my thoughts I'll be back in about an hour..."

"Hey do you want anything I'm dropping by the grocery store?" Is she dumb

"You are not going anywhere Isla den Jason and no I don't want anything! But buy a lot of snacks for Nathan he won't ask for it, but he wants it!" I tell her

"Yeah yeah bye! Love u"

"Mhmmm byeeeeeee, love u too!"

I get into the changing rooms and start changing out of the workout clothes. I see my old self harm scars... shit the urge is big, tempting... really fucking tempting!
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It felt amazing, relieving. Shit.... This really isn't fucking good. I haven't self-harmed since mission phoenix when I was 17 years old... when you relapse you relapse.

I get dressed and my anxiety is through the roof... I don't want to go to the Olympics I don't want to go home! I want to feel his arms around me. Wait a fucking second....

He really have this much funking impact on me... I went from being a serial killer and a ruthless murderer to crying over a guy.

What did he do to me....

I hadn't realized I was home until Jason said...

"He made you human!" Can he read thoughts?

"How did you- I wasn't-"

"Spare me" he gets seated beside me

"He was the first person you let yourself love! It's okay to feel, it doesn't make you weak." He tells me

"Stop! Just stop, first of don't ever EVER check the security cameras without my permission! Second of I don't want to talk about it okay!" He wasn't there when it happened and no one else was! So he had to have checked the cameras!

"Yeah yeah... but that is not gonna help the situation! Just pretending it isn't there, because it is."

"Like I don't already know that! You don't think that I know that I hurt him, or that he doesn't even want to see me! You don't think I know that I fucked up? He doesn't think I trust him, but that's not it! I just don't want him to see just how fucking messed up I am!"

"I'm sorry Angie!" He tries to hug me

"You hug me and you die!" I say with a small laugh following and he laughs too.

"Yeah see the old you is back! The one that's a bit too sarcastic" and we both laugh a little again.

I lay my head on his shoulder and he holds me. Like when I first met him, he used to always hold me and protect me. He taught me a lot about the world I live in today, and I am forever grateful for that!

"So how's the wife and kids?" I ask him

"Oh I thought the two of you talked everyday?" He tell me

"Yeah we talked this morning I was just trying the small talk thing." He looks at me weird

"You hate small talk Angie! And you're not good at it..."

"Yeah I know!"

I just want him to be okay...

I pick up my phone and dial Chelsea.

"Hey I need a report in parvin and Ali's status now! Here they are, and a hypothesis of what they could want." I get up and change my clothes if I'm going to take these two morons down then I'm about to do it in style.

I need them too see what woman I made myself into! So I put on my Chanel tights and then a black tight skirt with a black shirt and trench coat. Some loubitons black ones obviously!

And I get back into my car. It's show time....

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Noah:
I sit in this long boring meeting about the move. And I'll be moving right before she gets back from the Olympics so 5 weeks. Russia it'll be cold as hell, but hey it is what it is.

My mind can't help but shift to her... maybe just maybe she deserves to be able to tell me what happened, and maybe I'm obligated to listen. I love her there's no denying that, but can I trust her.... I don't know.

"Noah!" Shit

"Yeah sorry I just uh I just zoned out!"

"Okay we'll there will be an apartment waiting for you!" He says

"Yah that'll me good." And the meeting continued for hours.

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Going out with marly is peaceful, the snow is glittering. I'll miss Canada, I'll miss Johnny! God forbid he ever knows that. Most of all I'll miss her, maybe this was a drastic decision but it's done! It's a closed deal, there is nothing I can do now... no matter how much I want too.

A part of me wants to but the other part knows it's for the best! I just don't know how I'll ever forget her or get over her. I need to talk to her! So maybe I should call or text... I think text is better.

'We need to talk' I text

'Yes we do! I'm free tomorrow after 12'

'Good I'll se you at the cafe newt to the rink'

How am I going to tell her! I can't tell her right? I don't fucking know! What will I say? 'Hey just so you know, I'm moving to Russia..'

No I can't do that, but I can't lie! Well it's not lying if she never asked.

How will I ever be able to look into her eyes and tell her that I won't be here when she come back...

Authors note:
Heartbreak 2.0 sorry my friends
Please vote and comments it's so much fun to be able to read your thoughts!

Word count: 1046