To Live Again: Waiting Between Worlds {Lord of the Rings Fanfiction}

44. Awake!

"I am full of Light.  I am full of Wonder."
Emeli Sandé - 'Wonder'

xXx

Clara POV

xXx

Everything was too bright, everything was far too loud, and I could barely feel my tongue to force it to move...but dammit...I was determined to hold onto all of my senses this time.

I do not know how long I had spent lost in the fragments of my own spirit. I had no way of telling where I was, what time it was, how long had passed since my last memory of clarity, for it all felt like one long surreal dream.  But he had called my name and I would not let him down.

"Legolas!" I cried a little louder this time, satisfied that I was gaining control of my senses with each passing second. It gave me hope that I wouldn't slip into the darkness again.

"Nana!" he cried as his hands wrapped around mine and I revelled in the warmth of them.

I wanted to see his face so I searched with my cloudy eyes until it came into view.

The shock of my disorientated memories confused me. In my mind I had expected a child; a little boy with golden hair and sky blue eyes. Instead I was confronted with a young ellon, much older, but still youthful and vibrant with wonderful eyes so filled with relief. I frowned, grasping in my mind to remember things that I knew I should not forget. Trying to recall a time, place, and everything that had been stolen.

There were gaping holes in my being, like someone had muddled me up and fitted me back together all the wrong way, it was a horrible sensation.

What happened to me? Why could I not recall the things I knew I must? My heart was searching for things, for people my mind had lost, it was so utterly devastating that I started to cry.

What happened to me?

It was then that another face appeared above mine; an elven visage so filled with wisdom and warmth that I was not scared. He took my head in his hands and helped steady my gaze, but I still held to Legolas' grip. I wouldn't let him go, he was my anchor to reality, of that much I knew to be certain.

"Clara," the elf spoke and I nodded, "Clara, it is I, Elrond...what do you remember?"

"Nothing," I give a weak sob, "everything is lost..."

"No it isn't," Elrond smiled kindly, I trusted that smile, "it is all there, all of who you are is still there, the enemy just hid it from you...but you are stronger now Clara...break the chains on your spirit...come now, awaken Clara, your trouble is over."

He began to speak then, in words so ancient and beautiful they seemed to fill up every part of my senses as I listened to them. I kept my grip on Legolas' hand, as I let myself focus on the light of my fea, and the guiding brightness of Elrond's.

My mind resisted, it did not want to remember, but my spirit wanted me too...and I had to want too.

The healing strength that came from Elrond's enchantment brought about calm, it allowed me to force the equilibrium back into my disorientated and torn apart body. Once I felt I had command over my mind I sought my spirit, I searched it, I let it join with my mind and heart to fill in the gaping hallows in my memories.

At first everything was a blur - too fast and bright - but then I felt them, the deadened bonds and their attachment in me. I remembered my children, my own flesh and blood, my beautiful little light and my darling infant son.