To Live Again: Waiting Between Worlds {Lord of the Rings Fanfiction}

19. Weight of the Crown

A/N: apologies for the delay in updating.  If you guys follow me then I hope you got my announcement, for those who don't - I've had to take some personal time due to circumstances beyond my control.  Lots of Love and thankfulness to all of you who have waited patiently...you guys rock!
***Note*** My depiction of the coronation and rituals related to it are purely my own original works.  I would appreciate that you wouldn't use them as they are copyrighted and I will get stroppy...and the she-hulk comes out.  On the other hand please do not THINK any of this is Tolkien or that I've obstructed canon...it is only fiction and I think it fits well with the world I've created.
But apart from that enjoy!!!!

P.S. I stayed up to midnight so I could post this for you guys...hehehe...I'm so excited!

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Curled up on the settee in the sparse expanse of the King's apartments, I quietly roll the shimmering metal over in my hands. Tracing the silvery points with my fingertips I absently consider the weight of this crown, testing it by allowing it to lie heavily in my palms.

Like all elven craftsmanship the headdress is beautifully intricate and deceptively light for it's Kingly presence. It is an intimidating piece - harsh and strong - just like the one who will bear it. For a moment I register that, in my very hands, I hold the legendary forest crown of the ElvenKing, and in the next heartbeat my eyes sidle to the still form outstretched on the bed.

The bare torso of my beloved is pale in the moonlight flittering into our room, the jagged scar still ripping a ghoulish contrast across his luminous elven complexion. Yet still his eyes shine, even in their hazed dream state, a colour and depth so profound that makes his stare both haunting and endearing all at once.

My spirit flutters in recognition of the passionate love I share with him, but I have become better equipped at not letting in consume me, instead I let it brew longingly under the surface of my quiet mask.

I trail my gaze away from Thranduil long enough to observe the splendour and power of this crown again, and yet still I am conflicted.

This crown marks something incredibly significant to all of us; the change of the world and the beginning of a new age of time. It is also a stark reminder that my husband has changed in ways that I do not think he has even recognised yet. Yes I still love him to the point of insanity and nothing will change that, but what makes him familiar to me has faded. The carefree almost daring youthfulness of my Prince is replaced by the sombre and calculative logic of a King. So, I guess, as much as this crown speaks of hope and promise of a future for our people, it also reminds me of all the pain that he has suffered just to own the right to wear it.

It seems tragically unfair to me, but I suppose this is the truth of the danger of the world I live in. I suppose this is the very reason Queens produce heirs, because the position of King is one of great peril, and deadly if mishandled. After all, experience has taught us Kings don't always have eternity in this world. I know for a fact these are the worries that weigh heavily on Thranduil, and I understand his long contemplative silences, and closed off coolness, is all his way of dealing with it. It is different and hard for not just me, but the children too, but it is something we will accept and learn to love again.

With a heavy sigh I unfurl myself from my comfortable position and quietly pad across the still room. Carefully I place the crown back on the dresser by the far wall, where it will remain unworn until the coronation rituals tomorrow night.

I shiver with nervousness at the thought, and shrug the loose silk robe about my bare shoulders. I return to the archways that open up onto the breathtaking balcony that overlooks the whole forest, and force my attentions on marvelling at this magnificent dwelling that I never knew existed, instead of allowing my mind to circle endlessly with such brooding thoughts.