Enjoy Today (Twenty one Pilots)

Chapter 30 - A month goes on.

A month later.....

I know, all you want to do is talk about Tyler.

And, I know that because that's all I seem to wanna talk about too.

But a lot of things can happen in a month.

31 days.

730 hours.

43800 minutes.

And every ounce of time that has gone by since the day we met, feels as if it had just melted away, so quickly. Almost as if in the blink of an eye, its gone forever. I can't get it back. All that I have now are the memories, with hopes and dreams of making new ones. All that I have are lost daydreams, reminding me of a fading foreshadow. Reminding me of something I once felt.

A month is not a long time may I add.

Not a long time at all.

But, it is long enough.

Long enough for me to realize I care for Tyler, I like him, I am fond of him, I am overjoyed in his company, I am breathless when we talk, I don't want to live without him.

I am a lot of things.

But, I am not in love. I am not.

I am in love with the idea of him, I am in love with the way he makes me feel but, I am not in love. I have love for him but I am not in love.

I would know. I have never been in love before, and we all know the type of person I am, and I have my walls up. They are up high like a tower, swaying in the wind, fighting against odds of tumbling over and staying tall and strong.

Yes, by now my wall is cracked and broken and chipped, scratched and about to tumble.

But it hasn't.

Being in love, is being vulnerable, giving the person all God giving will to destroy you, letting them have an advantage over you that no one else has ever imagined of having, but trusting they won't, trusting they will only use that power for good, and knowing that they will not destroy you.

I don't even know what we are.

He has never said the word yet.

A powerful word.

"Girlfriend."

A word that kinda makes someone feel belonged. A new meaning. A new purpose for existing.

I don't know what we are.

I don't know if he's scared, or I'm the one scared, maybe we both are. Maybe.

I wouldn't even know what to do any way. So maybe things are better off this way.

No I'm not upset about, no this haven't been spiraling my mind for the past few weeks, no I haven't been fantasizing about the first time he would ever call me that, no I haven't.

Tyler: Hey

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and when I looked on the screen I saw the infamous name pop up on the screen. I was happy, really happy.

Ella: Hey

I texted back.

He was leaving for tour soon.

Did I not mention that before?

Well he is.

He's going on tour with a cover band called "WestWithout."

Am I gonna miss him? More than anything. Am I upset he's leaving? No. This is the price I have to pay for having feelings for someone that's in a band. How could I get upset about something that truly makes him happy?

Tyler: Wanna do something?

Ella: Come over?

(The next Chapter is gonna be lit I swear. & guys I know I am a b**** for taking this long but I have a serious case of writers block! helppp)