I effing love you

Part 58

I take a sigh looking at myself in the mirror. My bag is packed, my uniform is spotless and my stomach is fluttering. Today is it. Gsce's...I don't want to make too much of a drama but something about them feel very final. All year this is what it's been building up to and now that's it's here I'm waiting for a feeling, I don't know what feeling that should be but whenever I played out this day in my head it felt like it would be a big deal. The weather is picking up now that it's nearly the summer, the only bad thing being it means a hall packed with sweaty students and I make sure to put my deodorant and plenty of water into my bag.
"Ready to go?" I shout at Haley and Missy as I trot down the stairs,
"Oh good luck girls make me proud!" Simone says rubbing our faces,
"Missy love there's more than exams to life" she says sympathetically. Making me burst out laughing..
"Shut up!" Missy yells jokingly.
We meet Nas and Razia at the gates and Nas is trying to hype us up the whole way there. We've got English and Maths today..I suppose I should just be glad to get Maths out of the way but I am silently panicking majorly.
When we arrive I see Jordan walking in the gates with Cory
"Alrigh beautiful"
Jordan shoves him in the arm and I stick out my tongue, "Right then kids make sure to pass those exams!" He says in a mummy voice running off.
"He's jolly this morning" I say laughing.
"Yeah..shitting these" Jordan admits smiling with a sigh,
"Same.."
"What have you got to worry about? You'll do great"
"Well...here's to hoping eh?" I say laughing.
I can see a lot of people start to head inside,
"Shit..I think we should probably go in"
"Ahhhh! I'm so nervous" I say jumping up and down like an idiot, 
"Me too!!" He says jumping with me,
"HAHAHA stop people are staring" I say shocked,
"Yeah I know it must be hard to have people stare at you all the time but don't worry your not as ugly as they think"
I cackle loudly, "Shut it Wilson...now come on we're going to be late" I say grabbing his hand.

                            
                         A week later
"RIGHT YEAR ELEVENS AND THAT IS THE END OF YOUR GSCES!"
I throw my hands up in the air and cheer loudly with everyone else,
That's it finally. Finally it's all over. Looking around the hall at all the relieved and happy faces, I smile sadly and realise I might not be in the same room as some of these people next year, they probably won't even be part of my life.
I see Ms Carter walking over to Jordan so I wait a minute to go over but without warning he turns and bolts out of the hall.
"JORDAN!" I yell across but he either doesn't hear me or chooses to ignore me,
"Yayy!!" Missy and Haley come running to me and pull my into their group hug,
"Finally over!" I say with a smiling face, everyone is running around to congratulate and laugh but all I want to do now is see Jordan, "Hey did you see where Jordan went?" I ask Candice,
"No..sorry" Candice says as I push the door open to leave the room,
The hallways are pretty much empty and I make my way down to the lockers,
"Hey there you are!" I say
"Fucked it didn't I.." he says leaning up against the lockers,
"What..? Jordan-
He starts laughing, "This isn't the time for one of your motivational speeches believe me.."
I open and close my mouth unsure of what to do,
"Hug?" I say not waiting for an answer, he loosely wraps his arms around my back, I don't let go for a few minutes taking advantage of everyone still being in the exam hall, celebrating.
"You'll be alright.." I mumble into his chest,
I can feel his steady heartbeat in my ears and an overwhelming feeling washes over me..I wish I was alone with him right now..
Just as this feeling takes over, Jordan pulls away and everyone comes rushing out of the halls,
"Let's go bro nailed that!" Zain comes rushing over pouncing on Jordan, his happiness can't help but be contagious even though we all know Zain probably hasn't "nailed it".
"Right then let's PARTYYYY!" Everyone yells,
"I know somewhere we can go" Jordan perks up,
"What? Getting served in Ackley?" Chloe scoffs in disbelief,
"We'll have to get the bus"
"Where is this place?" I ask Jordan in confusion, anytime Jordan's really been out I've been with him or else we just go to house parties so I'm completely confused as to where he's talking about,
"Don't worry about it" he says swaggering down the hallways nonchalantly with that fiery look in his eyes that makes me worry but also makes him 100 times hotter.

As the bus drives off, fifteen minutes in I'm none the wiser as to where the hell were going.
"Jesus you can't get away from the fucking fields around here" Chloe says looking around displeased.
"Whenever I came back here I used to love how green it was"
"I just think it's boring" she says sticking her nose up, I just laugh, I still don't know Chloe, we'll probably never be close but sometimes she makes me laugh.
The bus comes to a halt and Jordan wraps his arms around my shoulder,
"Jordan..what is this place?" He doesn't answer me,
Nobody else seems to care, instead they're just happy we've arrived and quickly enter the pub,
When we go inside, it's relatively small and some older people are sitting around with beets,
Jordan places his arms on the counter while everyone else rushes over to sit at one of the tables, being obnoxiously loud.
"Jordan?" A woman with short blonde hair comes rushing over to the him on the other side of the counter, she doesn't sound pleased.
"Alright mum?"
"MUM?" I blurt out practically spluttering,
She flashes me a quick look and then focuses back to Jordan,
"What the hell are you doing here?" , a big muscly man with red hair and tattoos appears at the door,
"Oi you!" He says pointing his finger at Jordan,
"Not going to give me and me friends a drink Mum after exams?" Jordan wonders not phased by the response they were giving him, my knees are nearly shaking now..I don't know what's going on.
I feel completely left out of the moment and I just want to get out of there.
"You can have soft drinks and then you can leave!" She says trying to compromise.
"You here that you lot my mum's gonna get us some drinks!" Jordan says loudly tapping on the beer taps.
I gingerly make my way over to the table and sit on a stool, I don't like the atmosphere..something tells me this won't be a peaceful evening and the last thing I want to here is stay and drink.

"CHUG CHUG CH-
"RIGHT YOU LOT!" The angry man with the man bun roars loudly making me jump up,
"No, no" Jordan says pushing me back down again,
"Don't push your luck lad" The woman he claims to he his mum shouts from the bar,
"I'll have another one" Jordan says dangerously pushing the glass into the mans chest,
My palms go sweaty as the redness builds up in his face,
"RIGHT!" Without warning he grabs Jordan roughly and tries to pull him out the door,
"LET HIM GO!" I yell jumping up looking pleadingly at his mum, the others jump up trying to pull him away, I look away quickly as his head bangs into the wall being thrown at the door,
I run with the others trying to struggle up to grab Jordan but Zain and Mo are already grappling with him,
"Come on Jordan, come on" everyone is trying to pull him away but he's not coming..
"Jordan please let's go" I say desperately holding onto his arm but he roughly shakes me off,
"DON'T SHOW UP HERE AGAIN OR I'LL HAVE THE POLICE ON YOU" he yells viciously,
Seeing his Mum run out to the door, Jordan yells louder,
"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT YOU BEING YOUNG MUM? WELL I WERE YOUNG I WAS SIX YEARS OLD!" I try to grab his waist but he pulls away again,
"BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE..YOUR JUST A BITCH!" He yells crazily,
"OH CLEAR OFF!
"GO ONE GET OUT OF HERE"
"DON'T COME BACK HERE..GO BACK TO YOUR USELESS DAD!"
Voices echo in my head as the boys manage to pull Jordan out of there to get on the bus.
I push through everyone on the bus trying to calm Jordan down..
Once I reach him I pull his face so that he's looking directly into my eyes, I don't know what I see, his eyes scan me crazily and for a strange moment I feel like he doesn't realise who I am.
It's at this moment I feel the most disconnected to Jordan than I ever have..do I really know him? Did I ever know him? Will I ever know him?
In my confusion I try to hold his head in my arms but he refuses me instead sitting down at the back of the bus keeping his head on his lap.

Hey! Just want to say I'll update the next chapter of this tomorrow because I know this took way to long..
Hope you enjoyed maybe not the exact same as it played out in the show hope you don't mind..xxx