Only For You

The clock don't stop

Alaia's POV

Nick did not come to bed either that night. I suppose he is sleeping in the other room, it doesnt matter i guess.

I had Rita and my sister help me pack a few things for the trip and everyone is genuinely excited to be travelling.

I have never travelled out of the country before, or even been on a plane. Same with Mum and Zara, so its pretty exciting to be able to do this together.

If this surgery works out, i can't even begin to comprehend how wonderful that will be for me. Being able to see my family, even for a second would mean the world to me.

I wonder too what i look like. I must admit, am nervous to see what Nick sees when he looks at me. No matter how hard I try, my thoughts come right back to Nick. I know i asked him to leave me alone, but it just feels so much worse when he is actually doing it.

Trying not to overthink the surgery i lay in bed and try to fall asleep. Its gonna be a long night.

*****

The morning is busy,  getting everything ready for the trip. Lola insisted on coming too, but she wasn't in the initial arrangements, so Nick promised her she could join us in a few days when he can arrange it.

The press haven't let up completely either, so news about my family, our background, where we live, where i went to school, my job etc was all over the news. Rob called to say some reporters have been showing up there asking questions.  I guess i can can goodbye to my quiet old life.

*****

Nickolas' POV

Its 6:30 pm now and i ought to go home. Ally's flight was at 6pm so they must have taken off by now.  Going home knowing she isn't there feels strange  now and am dreading it.

I arrived home just in time for dinner. To say the atmosphere in the house was solemn would be an understatement. Even Mum whom i expected to be on cloud nine with Ally away looked like someone rained on her parade.

Everyone disappeared to their rooms immediately after dinner instead of the lounge were we usually spent time together. Dreading the bedroom i retreated to the study to do some more work.

Two hours later i gave up on work and lay on the sofa with a cigarette in my hand. I wonder how Ally found her first trip abroad. Her first time on a plane. My plane. I decided some whiskey would go well with the cigarettes. I have given up on cigarettes a while ago but now i find myself needing something to help me relax thats not alchohol.

The next couple of days will be a struggle.

*****

Alaia's POV

The flight is going to take 6 more hours. I expected us to board a commercial  flight, but Nick arranged for us to use one of their family jets. Zee and Sisi are obviously ecstatic about that, and i guess, this is really nice for all of us to have our own privacy.

It feels almost like we are taking a family vacation. Lola was really sad she couldn't come with us now, but Lu after talking to Nick said she will join us the day after tomorrow with Rita who was also really sad about not coming.

Listening o everyone's excitement, i am really grateful for this experience, whatever happens with the operation. The last couple of months had been really rough on my family, and so to be able to get to spend time like this together means everything to me.

The mood is electrifying and infectious all around me,  we are getting the VIP treatment up here. My sisters are ordering whatever food and drinks they want, they are taking a million selfies and pictures of everything, and my mouth is literally tired of being asked to smile for the camera every other minute.

"A penny for your thoughts" Dad asks, sitting next to me.

"Tell me about the view outside" i say to him.

"Well, its cloudy down there, but i can see bits and pieces of the ocean down there through the clouds, it's blue everywhere i look past the clouds"

"Tell me more when the clouds clear ok"

"Sure" he responds.

 "Do you know that you are the strongest, most fearless woman i know?" dad murmurs suddenly.

"Dad.."

"I don't think you realise just how powerful you are.........do you remember what i have always said" 

"That i am destined for greatness" i say with a smile.

"That's right. Ever since you were a little girl, remember how you insisted on joining the boys football team when you were 6, only girl on the team, talk of the town you were." he chuckles.

"My favorite was watching you every Christmas in the nativity play with your angel wings singing over the baby Jesus.  Every time i close my eyes and think about you, that's what i see, a little angel so full of love and compassion.

And remember when you were twelve years old,  you had already lost your sight by then, but your classmate Amara got diagnosed with leukemia, and then she lost all her hair and some of your other friends started teasing her. You begged your Mom to shave off all you hair so that she wouldn't feel alone.

You are an angel Ally, just like your name. The most beautiful perfect angel there is. Our angel." she says, squeezing my hand.

"I couldn't agree more" Mum adds kissing, my wet cheek.

"Me too" Sisi quips.

"Me four" Zara chuckles.

"I think so too." Lu says and adds

 "I think you are amazing, i am your number one fan"

*

After that emotional trip down memory lane, the rest of the trip was uneventful.

 We arrive in Russia but instead of going to a hotel like i expected. Lu takes us to Villa belonging to a friend of Nicks, who will also be hosting us. Judging from Sisi and Zara's excitement when we arrive, the place is better than a hotel.

I decide to spend the rest of the morning resting in my room, while everyone else goes sight seeing around the villa to pass some time.

To be honest, I am feeling more and more anxious as time goes by. The desire to see again is engulfing me like an avalanche. 

I want to see my family. 

I want to see the world. 

I want to see Nick. 

I can't believe he avoided  me all through out yesterday. 

He didn't even say goodbye.

I don't know what i'll do if this doesn't work. The possibility is starting to feel so good and i so  desperately want it to be so. But i know no matter what happens, even if it doesn't work, and my world should crush, the clock won't stop moving, time will move on and the world will go on. And i will have to move along with it, no matter the state i will be in, i keep reminding myself that, so that i am mentally prepared.

I wonder what everyone back at the mansion is doing right now. Marco and Lola? 

I wish Jude was here too, he would find something to say to make me laugh and feel better.

Because, i am afraid, afraid to close my eyes and wake up from this dream, this possibility. Hugging a pillow i try to get some sleep. Maybe, just maybe, the odds will go in my favor this time.