Hot For Teacher (gxg)

chapter twenty-eight: enigma part 2

As she stood by her desk, her chest heaving with anxiety, I stood in front of it. From the moment I entered her room, I knew I would be upset with her. But when she looked at me, I still had a forgiving heart, especially when I got lost in those brown eyes of hers. It didn't matter what she explained; it wouldn't be enough.

"I know you're angry with me, and you have every right to be," Amelia explained - damn right, I was. I'll explain everything to you, okay? It wasn't my intention to hurt you this way—"

"You've done that way too much," I remarked. The impact of my words on her face was of no concern to me. I had to be the one to tell her. "You've been lying to me since day one, Amelia. You could've just been honest with me about my mother, but you weren't."

She inhales deeply and gives a silent nod of approval, her lips pressed together. "Elaine, you just don't get it. It's hard for me to explain to you the reason I was with your mother in the first place."

I rolled my eyes. "Why not just mention her name, Amelia?"

"Okay, fine. Yes, I was with Monica—but I had no clue that you were her daughter," she explained with a hint of unease. Trust me, I'm not making this up. I was taken aback by the revelation that she is your mother, and I found myself at a loss for words on how to break the news to you. I was terrified, alright? I could've told you but I got caught up in my head."

"But you were aware!" I exclaimed, my voice growing louder, as I observed her shoulders twitch. I wasn't fond of how I raised my voice at her; it left me with a sense of guilt. "You knew, Amelia. Right now, I feel like I'm just dirt that you toyed with. Can you even begin to understand how that feels?"

"Trust me when I understand how you feel; I truly do. And I'm..." she gasped, struggling to steady herself by placing her hand on the desk, attempting to gather her composure. She muttered, "It's just a very long story about my history with Monica, Elaine. I have no desire to revisit that."

"Did something happen between you two?" I inquired, my voice taking on a gentler tone. She looks at me intently and closes her eyes, nodding in understanding. "What happened, then? I want to understand this whole... thing. I need you to help me understand."

Amelia let out a quiet sigh and settled into her chair, absentmindedly toying with her fingers. Once again, she glanced up at me before giving her response,

"Monica and I had an affair in the past. Actually, I had the privilege of being one of her most accomplished students. Undoubtedly, she was among the most esteemed educators at Oxford. I don't know how it started exactly, but I remember that I felt such a deep connection with her because of our interest in life. She made me feel special, like there was no one else in the world who understood me the way we do."

I stood there, eagerly awaiting her next words.

"When we started to get... intimate," she sighs as she wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. "She began to abuse me emotionally. I was manipulated into thinking I wouldn't pass her exam if I didn't meet her at a certain time, for example. She'd gaslight me, telling me she hadn't been loved this way since she was a teenager. I believed her, of course. I was 20 around that time, Elaine. I knew nothing about love."

She continued, "We fought a lot, I asked her to leave my dorm, and she wouldn't talk to me for a few days until I wanted to fuck her. As soon as I found out she was married and had a child, which is you, I felt disgusted with myself. I wondered why I was in that position and tried to make Monica stay, but she refused. As a result of her love for you and your father, she left me."

Seeing her saddened eyes, my heart softened, and I didn't know what to say. As she glances at me, she notices how I appear to diminish, but she looks back at her desk and shrugs. I hated how I also understood my mother, she seemed so devoted to her family, which I also wanted. My mother was cruel to me, so I had no sympathy for her. I became even more angry when I realized she was cruel to Amelia as well.