How I Met Your Mother

30 - Love

natalie

I've never cried over someone so much in my life.

Marshall tried to pry the information out of me. Mom, Dad, Teddy, and even Julia. None of them succeeded. Because how could I tell them how much of an asshole I am?

Mackenzie made Teddy switch her seats on the plane. She chose to be downgraded to a middle seat between an old man and a screaming baby vs. a window seat next to me.

And I can't blame her.

God! Who says something so idiotic to someone about the person they love?

Of course I love Mackenzie! I've never felt so strongly about someone the way I do with her.

It's New Year's Eve.

Yes, that's how long it's been since she last talked to me. We left Grandpa's house the day after Christmas because Dad had to get back to work as soon as possible.

I haven't seen Mackenzie since she got into her Porsche and left. I don't even know where she went.

Now I'm in London's backseat, cramped between Jackson and Brooks, headed to Alexander's New Year's party.

I have to tell her how I feel tonight.

I have to make things right between us.

She needs to know how I really feel.

"Dude you've been quiet the whole ride." Jackson looked down at me, his eyebrows pulled together, "Everything chill over in Nattieland?" He tapped my forehead once.

"Everything is wonderful in Nattieland, thank you." I looked out the window, "How far are we?"

I got my own answer once we rounded the corner and Alexander's house came into view. His house is bigger than mine and that's saying something. They have a long driveway that curves around a huge fountain.

"We're here." London looked back and smiled at me after she parked her car.

I gave her an overdramatic smile and got out of the car.

Usually I'd be happy about going to Alex's party. He's thrown one since middle school. They've always been fun.

But I can't stop thinking about Mackenzie. Obviously, I know. But she's the only thing on my mind and I hate what I said to Grandpa because it wasn't true.

And why the fuck did I say it?

Why couldn't I just admit it?

Because he clearly knows. Especially the way I reacted when I knew Mackenzie heard me.

They all know, so I should just admit it.

"I'm in love with Mackenzie." I blurted out.

Cass stopped getting out of the car and slumped back in her seat, turning towards me, "We know?"

"It's kinda obvious." Jackson furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"

I nodded, "It is obvious and now I'm admitting it."

"Well let's admit it inside the party so I can get drunk." Jackson smiled at me as he got out of the car, "And when your girl gets here, you can tell her."

Is she still my girl? I feel like we broke up.

It has been fun. But it's over now. I don't want to just have fun anymore Natalie.

I need a drink. A strong one.

"What's wrong?" Cassie put her arm around me as we walked up the large stairs to the house.