My best friends crush

24. Cat got your tongue?

Carlos was running after me, but bumped into someone on his way out. I didn't know the way home from here, so I called an Uber to pick me up. "Tessa, wait." Carlos said and stepped up beside me.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

I turned around and caught Ryan watching us from the front door. Just as I was about to speak the Uber showed up. I got into it without talking to Carlos, and then the rest of the night turned black.

+++

I woke up with a worse headache then yesterday. I was home laying in my own bed. My clothes was gone. All I was wearing was a big oversized T-shirt. Everything went well last night then.

My eyes shot open when I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I carefully got to my feet, and my whole body was stiff. As quietly as I could I grabbed the water bottle from my nightstand and held it high.

I walked as carefully as I could over to the door. The door made a little squeaky noise as I opened it.

"Great, you're awake." I lowered the water bottle and sighed both from being relieved and—not so relieved.

He was standing there in the exact clothes he wore yesterday. A white shirt that fit him perfectly and some black pants. "What are you doing in my house Ryan?" I rubbed my eyes to wake up more.

"Someone had to be." He said as he placed a plate of waffles on the table next to me. I looked at him questionably.

"You were totally out of it Tessa. I know about the drinking." He said as he tried to catch my thoughts.

"How—how do you know?" I asked looking down at the floor. And what exactly did he know, and who told him.

"Luke told me last time it happened and now your little "boyfriend" did actually." I looked up at him and caught him smirking at me.

He said boyfriend in a weird way. Like he knew—

I didn't answer. "Sit down and eat." He demanded.

I did as he said out of hunger. I hadn't eaten a proper meal since two days ago and I was starving.

He took a seat across from me. He tried catching my eyes multiple times, but every time he did I looked down to my plate again. "How does it taste?" He said in a weird tone again.

I put my fork down to the table and met his eyes. "Ok, what is it?" I asked demanding an answer.

He only smirked. "What?" He asked innocently. I gave him a sharp look in return.

"Last night I met Carlos in the doorway. It was right after you had left, and he was panicking. He asked me for help, I guess because I was the first person he found," Ryan paused and watched my face grow worried.

"He asked what was wrong with you and if this was usual behave for you. And I said that he should know that better then me since he's the boyfriend," he paused again watching me. My face was already heating up.

"And you must have made him very worried, huh? Because he told me your little agreement. How the two of you never were together, you just pretended to be." My eyes was wide open, and I had totally lost my appetite.

I felt like I was going to throw up from all the embarrassment. "Funny, right?" He said at last.

I couldn't get out one word, not a single one. I was so in shock. Carlos told him everything, absolutely everything. He was watching me and one side of his mouth was slightly tugged upwards. "Cat got your tongue?"

I really didn't know what to say. It was true, I did lie. And I messed up with him finding out. He wasn't supposed to find out. "I—don't act like you care." I said and got up from my seat. He followed right after and stepped closer to me.

I stepped back and he followed, until my back suddenly hit the wall. "Tessa, I know you're not in a good place right now," he lifted up my chin to make me look at him. "But I care about you. You might not believe it, but I do. Truly." My expression was unsure.

"If you want to talk, then I'll listen." He paused placing a hand on the wall beside me. "If you want to cry, then I'll be here with you until you're fine again." He paused again leaning in further. "And if you want to hit me then please do, because I know I deserve it."

I swallowed hard before answering. But all that came out of me was a quiet sob. His expression softened and I leaned my face into his chest. The sobs got louder until I could no longer hold it in.

He fully braced me, and stepped away from the wall with me still in his arms. I wasn't going to let go, and neither was he. This was my safe space. He was. And even though I knew he shouldn't be, and that I shouldn't feel the way I do about him, I still do. After everything he had done, he was still the one I needed.

After a while I was able to let go. And the face I met when I pulled away was something I had never seen before. He was so soft, and so loving. I knew he told me the truth. Because that was the face of a man who cared.

"C-can we talk?" I asked with my voice still shaking. He gave me a little smile.

"Always." We walked into my bedroom and sat down facing each other. He held my hand as I told he everything.

"Well you know about the drinking... And I don't usually drink, not like that." I started. His eyes was fixed on mine as I continued. "But when I do drink, it's to escape from my own head I guess." I looked down trying to get rid of the tears that was slowly filling my eyes.

"Yesterday it was exactly five years since my dad passed away. Every year since I have always gotten a little—out of it," I paused and met his eyes again. "It's stupid, I'm sorry. I know it was a long time ago, but I still miss him."

He hadn't said a word the whole time, he was just sitting there listening. "Don't ever apologize for your own feelings. Not to me, not to anyone. Not ever." I huffed a ridiculous laugh.

+++

He stayed the rest of the day with me. I think it was to make sure I stayed sober, but I didn't really care. I enjoyed his company, I always had.

He was sitting on the couch while I was standing by the fridge figuring if I was hungry or not. "What are you doing for Christmas?" He asked. Shit I had totally forgot, it was Christmas soon.

"I don't know. Before I used to go to my moms, but this year she's going on a vacation with some of her friends." I closed the fridge door and grabbed a glass of water instead. "So I guess I'll just stay here." I said at last.

He looked at me seriously as I sat down next to him. "What are you doing then?" I asked assuming he was as much of a loner as I was.

"Well, I'm not totally sure I'm going, but my grandmother asked me to come stay with them." He grabbed the water and took a sip and I was shot by surprise.

"You should go." I said taking the water back.

"Why's that?" He asked with his usual smirk planted.

"If you have someone to spend Christmas with, you should. Look at me for example who don't have anyone to spend it with." I took a sip from the water.

"Spend it with me." He said causing me to choke on the water.

"What?" I wasn't sure I heard him right, so I needed to make sure. "Come with me to my grandmother." I laughed a little trying to figure out if he was joking.

"What do you mean. I can't—that would be-," he cut me off before I could answer properly.

"Think about it."