Unwilling To Hate You (MAJOR EDITING)

46

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Charlie's POV

It was trial day again today. I was in the car with Jake, just coming around the corner where the court started to come into view. I was actually quite prepared for today. Well, as prepared as I could ever be. You can't really be prepared for anything, especially not this anyway.

My dad hadn't tried anything last time, and I'm not sure whether he will today or not, but whatever he says about me will link back to him anyway so he would just be incriminating himself.

"Come on Charlie, lets go shove your dad's shit up his arse." Jake joked.

I slapped the back of his head, causing him to jump away and smack his head of the top of the car as he was getting out.

"Charlie?!" He whined, turning back around to shut the door on me only realising I had already got out the other side.

I smiled smugly at him and turned on my way, leaving him by the car to chew himself out because I was no longer listening.

His feet smacked against the concrete as he caught up to me, shoving his arm around my shoulder weighing us both down as I struggled to hold us up.

The clearing of a throat made us both snap away from each other and act as professional as possible in a matter of 3 seconds... only to realise it was Mr Henderson.

He chuckled at us both as we cursed at each other, but walked ahead of us, as if telling us to get a move on or we will be late.

"Charlie, you know it's not just him right?" Jake spoke, smugly pointing towards a figure that was now walking with Mr Henderson.

My head turned and I almost died right there. Camilla. I had just embarrassed myself in front of Camilla. And it was all Jakes fault. I was about to hit him again, but we were already nearing the entrance, so I thought twice about it.

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We had taken our seats, and the judge had decided to get straight on with it. I had no idea what part we had got to, as I was still rolling round in embarrassment from earlier, but I knew that Mr Henderson was listening.

"Mr Monaco, please take the stand." A command broke through to me.
This was what I needed to pay attention to. My dad moved to the seat and waited for questioning. Mr Henderson stood up to start.

"To what extent would you describe Miss Monaco's temper?" He questioned.

My dad thought for a bit and then replied, "She knows when and when not to burst, but if it's personal, you struggle to stop her after she's burst."

"And where do you suppose she got this from?" Mr Henderson asked.

"Most likely her mother. Her mother's a very touchy person as well, but I take full credit for her temper. I am just as bad." He admitted.

"Just as bad?"

"Objection!" His lawyer spoke up.

"Move on Mr Henderson." The judge demanded. He nodded and carried on.

"What about her teenage years? Was she an easy child to deal with?" He asked.

"She was a typical teenager. Partying and playing up, answering back to us and even skipping school, but she knew our limits, even if she still broke them sometimes." He sneered towards me at the last part.

"What happened?" Mr Henderson pushed.

My dad paused for a bit, looked behind me and then at me, then back to Mr Henderson.

"She liked boys. Well, sort of. She loved the thrill of going out and rebelling. She was prepared to go to any extent with them, no matter the consequences. She just went for it and left me and her mother to deal with them." He spoke.

"I didn't need you to deal with them." I sneered towards him, causing the judge to raise his eyebrow at me, silent warning for me to keep quiet.

"And yet we still dealt with them Charlie." My dad spoke towards me.

"How did you deal with them?" The judge asked instead this time.

"We had our ways, she needed to learn her lesson." My dad gave little away.

"How did you deal with them?" The judge pushed, not happy with the answer.

"We took away her happiness." He spoke.

"The thrill of going out landed her in the situation of having a baby, but she couldn't do anything, she was too young to understand the slightest bit of pregnancy and she relies on us to get her out of it. She had the baby, and she even stayed in hospital after because she lost a lot of blood, but there's no way in heaven that she would be able to look after that kid." He finalised.

"You didn't have to kill him!" I screamed at him, standing up.

"You were 16 Charlie, in what way were you ready for a child?" He snickered at me.

"In what way was it your choice?" I finalised, sitting down.

"You killed her baby?" Mr Henderson asked with an undertone, towards his old best friend.

"Of course not. I took away her happiness, not killed it completely." He scoffed.

"W-what?" I asked, needing to hear it again.

"I didn't kill him Charlie, he's nearly 7, and he's safe, away from you." He said.

"He's my kid, and he's alive." I said, as I rushed out out the courtroom, charging out the doors and hanging onto the railing outside in the fresh air. My breathing was harsh and my eyes threatened to lose focus.

But nothing mattered, because my baby boy was alive and well. I just needed him back. It had been too long. I had spent too many years grieving for him, and he wasn't even dead. I would say a weights been lifted from my shoulders, but its just so typical. I don't feel any lighter. In fact, I feel like there's even more pressure now in the fact that I have to find him, and even when I do him, who's to say he will want to come back to me. He's not used to me, god, he doesn't even know who I am. And thats not the worst part, I have to be a parent. How am going to do that without my parents showing me the ropes.

Lets say he did settle in with me fast, I still didn't know how to look after him or how to give him the love he needs, I'd been absent from his life since he was born and after 7 years I show up, he'd never forget that, even if he doesn't understand right at this minute because his age. No matter what I'd do, there'd always be the same outcome, it would always come back to haunt me, because he will always know that I wasn't with him for the fist 7 years of his life. I missed half his childhood. That was unforgivable.