Because of a Cowboy

Ready or Not

After Whisper's burial, we went to my parents' house. It was a typical after-a-funeral activity. Groups went their separate ways.

I was in the living room, watching Grandpa sleeping with his head hanging back and his mouth open, snoring up a storm.

"Oh, Willa, look at this one!" my mother said, holding up a photo album. It was a picture of Whisper, holding me when I was a newborn. "She said, 'Mom, I have to be the one to hold her first!'"

"I just wish she could hold Little Toby," I said, holding my bump as he kicked.

Toby kissed the top of my head. "I know. It'll be okay. Just focus on what you've got going on?"

"Really terrible back pain?"

"Sure, why not?"

I gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Thanks, Pappa Bear."

I struggled through dinner, which, while it was delicious, was tough to do when you're dealing with contractions you're trying to hide.

I was starving, so I ate, and every time I could feel a contraction coming on, I went to the bathroom. I had three during dinner and we were probably only sitting there for an hour and a half.

They got worse during dessert. Worse as in, slightly more painful and more frequent. I told my family I was feeling tired and they let me cut out early.

Toby walked me back to the guest house, holding my hand and sometimes supporting me.

"You don't look so good. Do you think he's coming?" he asked.

"I...don't know," I said, panting. "Stella told me to call her if I'm not sure."

"I'll call her. You go sit down and relax. I'll stay with you for the night."

"What? Both of our parents said you're not allowed to stay overnights with me!"

"Willa, I'm sure they'll make an exception for the, you know, fact that you could be having a baby."

I sat on the couch with my feet up and started watching the cooking show I'd recorded earlier. Toby was right next to me, pulling out his phone and calling Stella as soon as he sat down.

"Hey Stella, it's Toby," he said into the phone. "Yes...she's been...Willa, how far apart do you think?"

"Uh like...twenty minutes?" I said.

"Twenty minutes. Okay...yeah...got it...thanks, you too." He hung up. "She said to wait until you're seven minutes apart, then call her back."

"Okay. So what now?" I asked.

"Well, now, we hang out and find out who is going to get eliminated in this round," Toby said, raising the volume.

"Oh, it's definitely going to be the lady who forgot the sauce!"

"Really? Because they hated that guy who had the dry chicken."

We kept watching, Toby kept timing my contractions and I kept breathing through them. We finished a few episodes and I started going through the house, just walking and letting my body loosen up.

That was the night: me trying to stay level-headed and going through the motions. I'd done so much research and prep for what was about to come, and all I had to do was press on and keep going.

I sent Holden a text every hour, when I could. I wasn't moving along fast. I showered, tried to eat, let Toby give me one of his amazing foot massages.

We went for a quick walk under the stars, and around midnight, and that's when things finally started to pick up.

I muscled through a shower, put on some comfy clothes, and laid down in bed. My heart was going a mile a second and it was hard to sleep with my adrenaline going. Toby somehow found a way to remain even calmer than me.

Eventually I found myself dozing off, and something stirred me in the middle of the night. It was a little after three when I woke up soaked. Something about it didn't scare me, didn't make me panic.

I looked over at Toby, fast asleep, and went to the bathroom. After I was changed and cleaned up, I sat on the couch and gave Stella a call.

"Hell-o-o?" she said in a sing-song kind of way. "How are you doing Miss Willa?"

"I feel like I'm literally dying and my water broke," I said, my voice flat. There was silence on the other end. "You still there, Stella?"

"You bet! I packed up earlier and I'm getting dressed as we speak! I'll see you both soon. Tell Little Toby to wait until I get there!"