chapter 40

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I probably had 3 hours of sleep together last night. Peyton probably had 2 or 1, but he said he would stay as long as I would. And I actually really liked that.

When the visits where allowed at 8, I went up to see Royal. Peyton said he would wait for me outside, and say hi to Royal later on. When I walk in I see Anna and Royal sleeping. Anna was bent like a pretzel in a chair.

I get closer to her and tap her shoulder, making her jump up.

"Hey." I say putting my hand on her back, she looks at me and then at Royal and relaxes back into her chair. "You can go sleep if you want, I'll stay here."

It took time for her to slowly get up and nod. Then it was just me and Royal. Big dark circular were around her eyes, and her neck looked red, more than before. It was hard to focus on her face instead of everything wrong with it.

I wait, and wait, and wait, until I see her fingers more, and her eyes slowly open. She looks up at me and says nothing but stare.

"Hey there." I say. "Lovely morning don't you think?"

She moves her eyes to the window. "The most beautiful one."

I scoot closer to her and grab her hand. "You know I did something yesterday."

"What?" She asks. Still looking at the window.

"For the first time. I prayed." I smile a little.

Then she looks at me. "And how did it go?"

"Well he did answers or anything. It just kind of stress me out more. To many questions, and absolutely no answer."

"Well we don't always need answers for everything. That would ruin the wonder of everything. Don't you think?" She closes her eyes, moving her fingers on top of mine.

"Maybe. But it's kind of human nature to look for answer."

"And since when has one answer ever been enough of any human." She tiredly giggles.

"Good point."

I lean forward and look into her eyes, I couldn't really tell what she was thinking or feeling, but she still had that happy spark in them. "Feeling any better?"

She slowly nods. "Nick."

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy? Really happy?" She asks.

I bit my lower lip. "Yes. With you. So you have to stay okay?" I expected her to chuckle but she didn't.

"But that's not happiness." She says. "You have to be happy with yourself, to be happy with everything else. Are you happy just with yourself?"

I sigh. "But things have to make you happy. You can't just be happy out if thin air."

"No, but you can be happy over all. So are you?"

I feel her hand start to tremble in mine. So I say what I need to. "Yes. I am."

She smiles a little before closing her eyes. "I still remember the first time I saw you."

I chuckle. "Stop reminding me that. It was so embarrassing."

"It was funny and strange. But I'm glad I got you."

"I'm glad too. We are the perfect team remember?" I get her hand and position are pinks together. "Partners in crime."

"The best partners." She grins.

"So what's next for you?"

"Next?"

"What do they want to do to you next? The doctors?"

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