Unforgivable Promises (Snarry story)

Chapter 13

Harry caught up to Hermione in the library. Despite Ron's assurance, he was worried about how she was taking his news. I knew this was a mistake, he thought. "Hermione?"

She looked up at him, lips pursed.

"What is it, Harry? I'm a bit busy," she said. "Busy helping you, I might add."

"I know that, and I appreciate it." Harry watched her return the book she was holding to the shelf and pull another out. Her hands were trembling, and she seemed to be going through books randomly without reading their titles.

"If you'd rather not help me anymore..." Harry trailed off, terrified at her response.

"I told you I'm still your friend. Maybe I haven't been a very good one, but you can trust me, you know." She was flipping through the index of another book, her back to Harry.

"Of course I know that. I never thought I couldn't trust you."

"Then why did you wait so long to come out to us? Did you really think we'd hate you? After we've stood beside you against everything, did you really think so little of us?"

Harry took a step back, unbalanced. "Hermione, I said before that my taking so long to tell you had nothing to do with you, and it didn't. It had to do with me."

"You were afraid to tell us, Harry. It had to have something to do with us."

"Honestly, Hermione, it didn't. I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid to admit it to myself. I've known for a while, I guess, but I always ignored that part of me. It was like, as long as I never told anyone, I could always pretend. I could have a normal life. I just wasn't ready to take that last step until now."

Harry searched for the words to make her understand.

"Someone told me once that words have power. And he was right. It's scary to say it out loud at first. And it had nothing to do with who I was saying it to. It could have been an empty room, and I wouldn't have said it until now. But I always knew you guys would stay by my side. I never doubted that. Not until..."

"Until I left?" Hermione turned to face him. Harry swallowed but did not answer. "Oh, Harry!" Hermione dropped her book and pulled him into a hug. Harry returned her embrace gratefully. "I didn't mean to hurt you like that. And I never really thought you didn't trust us. But Harry, you must know that we're all terrified that one day you're going to run off to fight Voldemort without us. I guess that's why I overreacted. If we don't know what you know, we can't help you."

"Well, I'm not going to run to Voldemort because I'm gay. I've seen him. He looks better than he did two years ago, but he's still not my type."

Hermione laughed and wiped a tear from her eye. "Thank you for telling us, Harry."

Harry gave her another hug. "You're welcome. Want to go back to the room?"

Hermione nodded and the two left the library. In the hallway, she asked, "So, are we the first to know?"

"Oh, uh." Harry faltered. "Well, no. One other person knows. But I can't tell you who." Hermione frowned at him, and he quickly continued. "He's gay too, and I promised not to tell anyone about him. It's not that I don't want to tell you, but it's really not my place to say anything. And if it makes you feel better, I didn't plan on telling him. He figured it out."

Hermione nodded. He knew she was trying to piece together clues. "Did you two, ah, you know..."

Harry laughed. "No! No, no, no." This time Hermione laughed.

"Wow, Harry. It wasn't Malfoy was it?" She had a playful glint in her eye. "That's a lot of 'no's."

When they returned to their friends, Harry could sense their unease, which was quickly relieved when they saw the smile on Harry and Hermione's faces.