Even If

Chapter 4: Focus On Our Future

The next morning, I woke up, and he wasn't beside me. He left for work. And I'm late for work. I rushed to get myself ready, reaching 10 minutes late and apologising, saying this mistake would not be repeated.

Serving customers and taking their orders, I hoped no one noticed my pain. When lunch break came, I made no move to go and eat. Instead, I just continued working and offered to help with another shift. Time passed by quickly and soon it was nighttime.

Driving home, my legs bounced anxiously. I haven't seen Elijah since yesterday and I was scared to face him. As I parked my car, seeing the lights on in the house, I knew he was home.

For a moment, I didn't know whether to knock on the door or ring the doorbell. After a few minutes of standing outside, I found the courage to open the door. I didn't see him immediately but judging by the smell of hot stew, I knew he was in the kitchen. Dinner...I haven't had dinner. I was hungry but I didn't know if I had the appetite to eat.

I went upstairs to our room quietly. I was sure he heard me come in but I guess he was still planning on ignoring me. I showered, changed and lay down on the bed. It wasn't long before I heard the doorknob click open.

"Dinner," he said.

I didn't look at him yet but I knew he was there. "I'm not hungry," I replied.

"I don't care. You're coming downstairs and you're eating."

I guess the fear made me obey so I got up and walked slowly past him. As I sat on the chair, I winced yet again for umpteen time today. Picking up my fork and spoon, I say a quiet prayer before eating.

After dinner, I went up again. He followed behind me. I didn't know what to do. My heart beat faster. My breathing was laboured. And I started panicking. I cried. I covered my face with my hands and apologised. Again and again.

I was pulled into someone's chest. Those warm arms I knew and loved held me and comforted me. His hands ran through my hair and shushed my cries.

"You're safe, baby. You're safe, I promise. I forgive you, shh."

At some point, he brought me to sit on his lap. When my cries turned to occasional sniffles, he made me look at him. What he said blew me away though.

"I'm sorry, princess," he said, kissing my forehead. "I'm sorry for being angry when I punished you. I'm sorry."

Tears threatened to fall as I remembered what happened. "I was scared..." I whispered.

"I know, baby. I know. I'm sorry." he says again, his hands still in my hair. "Why'd you do it though, hm?"

He was giving me a chance to explain so I told the entire story. And by the time I finished, I was crying again. "I-I'm s-sorry."

"Don't be. Shh. It's my fault. I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I should have listened to your side of the story, hm?"

I nodded in his chest.

Giving me the comfort I needed, the comfort we needed. We healed in each other's embrace. Every few minutes, he would reassure me that everything was okay. That I was okay. That we were okay. And that was good enough for me.

"You're okay."

I'm okay.

And that was all I needed to hear.

♡

We must have slept after that cause we woke up cuddling each other. He kissed me on my lips, "Good morning, baby."

I smiled. We were okay.

"You feeling better?"

I nodded.

"Let's shower, yeah?"

I hummed in response.

In the shower, I washed his hair while he washed mine. I giggled. He laughed too. This was always fun. We spent a long time in the shower just playing with each other. After we were done, we dried ourselves and changed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and beckoned me to come.

"Lay over my lap for a bit, baby."

This got me all nervous again. But he reassured me, he wasn't going to punish me. I laid over his lap and he flipped my skirts up, pulling down my panties. He grabbed something from the drawer and not long after, I felt something cold on my bottom that gave me some relief from the pain. I looked back.

"It's lotion. Feel better?"

I replied with a yes. I felt him trace those angry red lines a few times before fixing my skirt and letting me get up. He stood up and pulled me close to him.

"I love you, Nix."

"I love you too."

"Forgive me."

"I forgive you, 'Lijah."

And just like that, a clean slate. We learn from the past and focus on our future.