Even If

Chapter 3: Very Much Real

It's been a week since my first spanking and I'm trying hard to be on my best behaviour.

"Nix! Get ready, we're leaving in 15 minutes!" Elijah shouted from downstairs.

"Okay!" I shouted back.

Today, we're going to meet Elijah's mom. We hardly ever do it only because I don't get along with her very well.

After I finished getting ready, I went downstairs.

"Hey sweetheart, you look pretty today," Elijah says, giving me a soft kiss on my lips.

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself."

"Alright, before we go, I need to make sure you're going to behave yourself."

"What am I? 5?"

"Phoenix, do I need to give you a reminder before we go?"

"What reminder?"

He gave me a look.

Oh, that.

"No thank you," I replied.

"Then I suggest you be on your best behaviour, yes?"

"Yes, Elijah. Can we go now?"

"Alright."

♡

"Hi, son. Welcome home." his mom says, hugging him as soon as the door was opened.

"Hi, mom. It's good to be back." He says, returning her hug.

Then she turns to look at me. A look of disgust flashes on her face but she covers it up with an awkward smile.

"Phoenix." She acknowledges.

"Hi," I replied.

She lets us into the house and I still can't help but admire the interior design of the house. That's probably common especially when you have rich parents, I guess.

Truth be told, the day went quite okay. But it wasn't until dinner when Elijah excused himself to go to the washroom that the problem began.

"So Phoenix, let me guess, you're still not working as usual?"

This is getting old...

"I work at the coffee shop near Elijah's workplace...."

"That's it? So most of the time, my son is the one spending money for you? Unbelievable. Can't think why he would marry a gold-digger."

Speechless? No way. Screw Elijah and his 'make sure you behave' nonsense.

"Yeah well, you could have said something at the wedding, why didn't you?"

She avoids my question, "Do you still visit your parents?"

I glared at her. She did that on purpose.

"Oh right, I forgot. You're an orphan. They would probably be so disappointed in you right now."

I lost it. I took the glass of water and smashed it against the wall. And just my luck, Elijah waltzed right in.

"Oh my gosh, mom, are you okay?" Elijah rushes to her side.

What about me...?

"You should learn how to control that wife of yours."

Control me? Control yourself!

"Don't worry. I'll deal with her. Thank you for having us, mom." Then he looks at me, "Let's go."

♡

The entire car ride was silent. I glanced at him a few times. His hands gripping the steering wheel, his jaw clenching, the car going at 75 miles per hour. The silence. He's angry...

When we reach home, he gets down and walks into the house without sparing me a second glance. I unbuckled my seatbelt. My hands trembled...

I got down from the car and followed him. He went into our room so I assumed I was supposed to be there too. I sat on the bed while he changed his clothes. When he was done, he turned to face me. The moment he looked at me, my heart beats rapidly. Not that kind of feeling when you're in love or when you're intimidated. But...fear.

And my immediate response was to apologise. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" He scoffs. "You've gone way past that to earn my forgiveness. I told you to behave before we left and you just had to disobey me. Do you think I like doing this? I get that you don't like her, but that does not give you any right to be rude and throw tantrums like a little kid."

I looked down. He wasn't shouting but he was angry and I knew that.

"Pants down and bend over the bed."

Over the bed means he won't use his hand this time. I'm getting something else...

I was scared but I didn't let it show. I took off my pants and bent over the bed. I heard him walking somewhere around the room and then coming back. Then it was just silent.

"I'm so upset with you. She's my mother and even though you don't get along with her very well, you have to respect her," He says after a while.

I felt something familiar tap my bottom before leaving and coming back strong. I knew it all too well. A childhood reignition. Then the second stroke came making me cry out. I tried really hard to keep quiet but I couldn't. The pain. It was unbearable.

The third stroke came and I couldn't help begging for it to stop. I cried, gripping the bedsheets and wishing it would all be over. Wishing that I kept my temper in check. Wishing that I never threw that glass.

The fourth stroke came. And the fifth before I lost count and just laid limp on the bed. I sobbed apologies and hoped he would forgive me.

Soon after, it stopped. I heard him walk out and slam the door. I didn't bother getting up.

(TRIGGER WARNING: thoughts about self-harm)

After a while, I decided to shower. So I got off the bed. I so badly wanted to hurt myself. I stayed in the shower and sat on the floor, the water still running as I cried.

I ruined everything.

I got out of the shower after a while, changed and laid down on the bed. Closing my eyes, I wished it was all just a nightmare. But when I opened my eyes, it was very much real.