A MERRY MAFIA CHRISTMAS (GxG)

XXV

My Christmas List: December 11th
Cure me from overthinking.

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The suds from the toothpaste gathered in my mouth as I stared at my reflection, brushing the black toothbrush back and forth.

"Yes, I'm well aware," Armani's voice echoed throughout her bathroom as she entered the large room. She was already dressed for the day. Her usual black blazer and dress pants with a gold fiagro chain hanging loosely around her neck.

I couldn't help but noticed the matching gold fiagro bracelet lining her wrist, and the singular thick gold band wrapped around her middle finger. She was always so put together, making sure every detail was up to standard with any outfit she wore. It was another thing that I found attractive about her.

"Look, we'll discuss this later," she said, irritation expressed subtly on her face.

I continued to stare forward, trying to not intrude on her conversation, yet I couldn't help but feel curious, especially since the phone call seemed to irritate her enough for the emotion to be slightly obvious on her face.

I'm almost positive anyone else couldn't grasp the irritation hiding behind her clenched jaw and darkened eyes, but I've unconsciously grown to recognize it.

What's going on? Is it mafia related?

As soon as the question flashed through my head, I laughed internally. Of course it's mafia related.

With that being a clear fact, I felt my heart swirl deep in my chest. I couldn't pinpoint the emotion, but I knew I was unsettled. I was aware that I didn't like the power Armani held. It was dangerous. Her entire existence seemed to be dangerous—mostly to other people, but also for her as well.

I only felt more protective as I begin to notice each stay with Armani becomes more intimate than the last.

Instead of falling asleep on two separate sides of the bed and waking up in the same spot—or unconsciously waking up tangled together.

We willingly fell asleep in each others arms.

It was... surprising and definitely progress for us. Sometimes I couldn't even believe it was real.

Then again, I always felt so unworthy of anything or anyone, which was probably why I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Armani to simply decide that she made a mistake. That she doesn't want me.

Armani sighed as she slid her phone into the pocket of her dress pants, walking to stand behind me. "I have some loose ends to tie up," she said, her dark eyes meeting mine in the large mirror.

Now that I've noticed the dangers lurking behind what her job entailed, I felt my stomach twist and turn, like I was on a never ending roller coaster ride.

I knew she could handle herself—she's been doing this job long before I came along. But I still felt... worried.

Yet again, it made me want to confess, I have feelings for you too. I like you so much that I worry about you every time you leave this room to go do your rightfully inherited job.

Armani peered into the mirror, her eyes tracing my face before saying, "Will you be okay?"

I was probably displaying my unsettled worries on my face too openly–at the realization–I quickly forced myself to cover it up.

Now is not the time to have this conversation with her.

I nodded, sitting the black tooth brush that Armani provided for me on the marbled sink. "Yeah, I'll be good," I said, feeling my heart thump with ache at the lie. Armani nodded almost instantly, respecting my answer and taking a step away from me. My heart thumped with ache again-again—and finally again. Before finally, I reached out toward her, my brain not given a chance to process anything as I called out, "Wait."