my lover | taylor swift story

5.

TW: mention of eating disorders

it was now october 26th, and for the past few weeks, nova had started eating less and less. online, people continued to seem obsessed with her weight and looks. she hadn't told taylor about it because she didn't want to feel like she was complaining. this was what she had agreed to when she signed the form.

nova also didn't want to overwhelm taylor. the blonde was already preparing for the release of her new album, 1989, which was releasing tomorrow.

nova was sitting at a table while taylor made food for the two of them. taylor had noticed a change in novas eating habits, but had decided not to bring it up.

until today. the blonde was concerned for nova, and didn't want her to down a rabbit hole and not be able to pull herself out. while she was cooking, she looked over at nova. the shorter girl had her head in her hands, appearing bored.

"so..." taylor started, and the brunette looked up at her. "are you hungry?" nova just shrugged, putting her head back into her hands. taylor turned off the stove, walking over to nova.

taylor tucked novas brunette hair behind her ear. "hey.." nova looked up at the blonde. "i'm worried about you." taylor stated. shaking her head slowly.

"you don't have to be. i'm fine." nova looked out into the room. her eyes no longer held the shimmer in them, now looking dull and tired. "you haven't been eating as much. i just want you to know you're beautiful and you don't have to change anything for anyone."

"you don't understand!" nova snapped, standing up and staring at taylor. "i have been getting constant DMs and seeing posts saying how fat i am, or how i'm not good enough to be friends with the taylor swift!" taylor looked into the brunettes eyes, just listening.

the blondes eyes held tears threatening to spill, but taylor wouldn't let them. she needed to let nova just get these words out. "i know i signed up for this, literally, but it's too much! i constantly am insecure about things i didn't even know were there!"

"i didn't know i had dip hips, but now they're one of my biggest insecurities! why? because of the people online." nova vented, tears now streaming down her face. "and apparently i have a 'wide ribcage'? what even is that!" she screamed, her voice going octaves higher.

"i'm sorry." taylor apologized. "i'm sorry you have to go through this. more importantly, i'm sorry that you feel like you have to go through it alone. i'm always here if you need to talk, okay?"

"what?" nova asked, scrunching her eyebrows a bit. "i'm.. sorry?" taylor hesitated. nova went around the chair and hugged taylor. "why are you so nice to me?" she asked into taylor's shoulder.

taylor was shocked by novas response and quick change in mood. "i don't know. you're my friend, i guess." taylor hesitated, not knowing how to answer nova.

"i actually am kind of hungry." nova decided, pulling away from taylor. "okay, i can finish our food and then we can eat."

a few moments later, taylor sat across from nova, and placed the two plates down. "you don't have to eat it all. you can eat as much or as little as you'd like, but i want you to improve over time." taylor told the brunette.

nova picked at her food for a while, shuffling it around on her plate with her fork before eating it. once she took her first bite, she already felt sick to her stomach. nonetheless, she continued to eat to make taylor proud.

after they had both finished eating, taylor put on greys anatomy. "seriously, this show again?" nova asked, and taylor just shook her head. "it's a good show!"

they watched a few episodes of greys anatomy, the two girls decided it would be best to get some rest before the release of '1989'.

"i'm going to just go and get ready to go to bed, okay?" taylor told nova. as taylor got up, she suddenly started to freak out. "what if everyone hates the album? i mean, my style changed a lot from my past albums to this."

nova stood up, looking at taylor. "they will love the album! i love it, your fans that came to the secret session loved it, there's nothing to be worried about, tay."

"are you sure? i-" taylor started, before being cut off by nova. "do you love the album?" taylor nodded. "then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! you worked really hard on this album, and it deserves all of the love it will receive." nova reassured the blonde.

after that, the blonde walked to her bathroom, nova following behind. "i was thinking we should spend some quality time with the kids tomorrow." nova mentioned.

"the kids? what kids?" taylor questioned the brunette. "the cats! i hope it's alright that i called them that."

"of course it's fine. it's cute, i love it." taylor told her. "we could just cuddle tomorrow after the release and watch more greys anatomy?" she suggested.

"ugh, fine. i swear, sometimes i think you love that show more than you love me as a friend."

as a friend. just.. a friend.

taylor chuckled nervously. of course nova didn't like taylor as anything more than a friend, and taylor didn't even know what she felt for nova yet.

meanwhile, nova was trying to hide just how much she was questioning herself. she thought she might like taylor as more than a friend, but she wouldn't want to ruin their friendship.

"alright, i'm going to go to my room." taylor told nova after finishing brushing her teeth. "alright, i'll go to sleep in a few minutes. i'm just going to go to the restroom first."

taylor walked back to her room and turned off the light. she tucked herself in and shut her eyes.

"what am i going to do?"