In My Head

One Day After the Move ~ Nightmare ~ Kaden

I realize I'm swaying again. I try to hold myself still, but it's impossible when I'm so exhausted like this. My whole body is on fire. It really hurts my back to sit up, but I don't want to lie down. I'd fall asleep if I lie down.

My face hurts. I touch it, and my cheek throbs, my brain flashes-Logan pins me down and punches me in the face over and over again. My heart skips a beat. No. Logan didn't beat me up. It was just a dream. All one big awful nightmare. I poke at my cheek. It stings, but there's no blood. I bet it's all red. I must look like the loser who gets beat up by bullies after school every day. But I did this to myself.

My eyes tear up. No! I'm not going to cry again. I stare up at the ceiling and concentrate on taking slow breaths.

The door opens, and a nurse comes in.

"I'm sorry, did you need the room?" Mom asks. She automatically assumes that I'm taking up space. Jeez, thanks for being so supportive, Mom.

"No, I'm just here to check up on you," the nurse says.

Check up on me. The doctor must have told her to come. Is he worried about me?

"I think he'll be fine after some rest," Mom says. "We can move to another room."

"No," I say. "Let's just go." I shift to my hands and knees and take a big breath, get my feet underneath myself, and push myself up.

My head rushes. I lose my balance and stagger forward-Logan is suddenly right in front of me. He grabs my arm, pulling the muscles so tight that I groan.

"Are you okay?" Mom asks.

My head won't stop swimming. "Just give me a second," I say, and I pull away, but Logan won't let me go. I sway back into him. My arm is on fire, but what really bothers me is that I can't stand up by myself. The dizziness side effect is really bad right now.

"You can lean on me if you want," he says. Like I have a choice. I shift my feet and put my weight on him. He pulls my arm over his shoulder, and I wince.

"Dr. Evans wanted me to give you this," the nurse says.

"Thank you," Mom says. Logan moves forward. I cling to him and let him lead me through the door and down the hallway. The muscles in my arm feel like they're tearing off.

We walk for what feels like forever and then stop. Mom mumbles something about arranging the EEG test. Logan moves again-I stumble next to him. "Sit," he says, and he pushes me back. I sag down into a chair and hug my arm against my chest. My head pulses, making me wince.

Logan sits next to me. "I can't believe you need another EEG." He glares at the floor. Seriously. I'm so sick of this. What if I have to take all the tests all over again? This is supposed to be helping, but so far moving is only making me worse.

"You gonna be okay?" Logan asks.

"I dunno," I admit.

"I'll be right back." He jumps up and heads to the receptionist counter, leaving me alone. I grab my pendant and rub my thumb along the smooth metal. I'm not really alone. Logan is right over there. It's fine.

Mom looks up at Logan and glances back at me. Logan says something to the receptionist. I wish he'd just come back.

The hallway door opens. A girl with long dark brown hair and glasses comes out. I think she's about my age. Her face is heart-shaped, and she has silky-looking fair skin. I realize she's coming right up to me, so I stare down at my hands.

She stands over me, and I can't help but look up. Her cheeks are rosy red, and her lips are pink and full. She smiles at me, revealing slightly crooked pearly white teeth. My lips form a smile in reply. There's something oddly comforting about her, like waking up from a nightmare and realizing that it was just a dream. You're relieved to know that you're safe, but at the same time, you don't want to go back to sleep, so you can't relax.