kind regards | womanxgirl |

ten | back to square one

"I believe I dismissed you Ms Bonde." Ms Valentina uttered as she pushed a stray hair behind her ear, her attention focused on packing up the books left on the tables by the students who had already left for their next period.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Ivy questioned as she pushed down her hand onto the book Ms Valentine was about to pick up.

Finally looking at her eyes, Blake had noticed the girl looking duller at this moment. Blake exhaled a heavy breath before she answered as calmly as she could. "I'm not avoiding you." She lied, her heart itching to tell her the truth in her reason of avoidance.

"From the way you've been distant whenever I'd come up to you every lesson since Monday, I can't help but believe you are." The blonde felt like a side piece to Ms Valentine, like a toy she could use and go. "You said you'd be different."

"I never said that." Blake retorted defensively, her hands placing the textbooks on another desk nearby as she gave Ivy her undivided attention, even if this conversation would turn into an argument. 

Her eyes enlarged at her response before she had retreated to her emotionless nature that was most used. "Right..." She paused, her feet frozen for a second before she changed once more. "And I'm guessing you lied about the part where you said you wanted me?"

"No, I..." Blake began to trail off, she didn't know where this conversation was headed, but all she knew was that she wanted two separate things. "I don't know, Ivy, okay?" The brunette somewhat snapped, her head spinning from confusion and past actions.

"Forget it, I shouldn't have bothered you."

Honestly, Ivy didn't know what was going on in Blake's mind at this moment or what she wanted from the girl either. The blonde knew what she wanted and it was clearly Blake, but now, she was unsure of her choice of woman to chase after, thus leading her to have her doubts at the back of her mind.

Realising her movement towards the door, Blake had moved towards Ivy, her hand clutching the girl's in an effort to stop her. "Ivy, I didn't mean it like that."

Ivy stopped in her tracks for one moment, her eyes trained on the floor as her hand was lightly held in the palms of the women she took an interest in. "Let go, Blake. I have somewhere to be."

The sudden coldness in her voice made Blake aware of how she felt at this moment, and although it hurt her to see her like this, she knew she did something wrong. "Of course." Blake mumbled, her hands releasing Ivy's as she watched her walk out as if nothing happened.

Watching her walk out made Blake contemplate her actions. It wasn't her fault Blake was falling for her, she just thought it was best if she had time to think about how the two could never be intimate, although she found herself daydreaming about the girl at certain points of the day.

Blake was confusing herself as always when it came to Ivy. She wanted her, but she couldn't have her. With a failed marriage, she now realised how naive she truly was, thus she became warier about relationships and letting people in, but somehow, Ivy surpassed her guarded walls and entered Blake's mind unknowingly.

 • • •

"You've been marking this whole time." Luca observed, pulling aside her co-captain from the rest of the girls as she dismissed them for a quick breather. "What's on your mind?"

Ivy remained quiet, her eyes quickly scanned over to the classroom she knew as Ms Valentine's before they retreated back to Luca who had a concerned look.

"You don't need to hide anything from me, I'm not here to judge you." Reassured Luca, absentmindedly, her hands found their way to Ivy's shoulders as she pulled her close enough for Ivy to give Luca her attention. "So tell me, what's wrong?"

"It's stupid, really." Ivy replied quietly as she tried to avoid her question with dismission, however failing as Luca didn't budge. 

Ivy rolled her eyes at her friend's persistence. "I'm doubting my interest in a person I like." She said evasively, leaving out the key figures and points of her problems. "She won't... commit to her feelings properly, and she's confusing me."

"Well, I can't say you gave me a lot to help you with there, but all I can say is whoever the mystery girl is-" Luca's hands slid down towards Ivy's hands, grasping them she Ivy would know her friend's sincerity. "She probably just needs space to think about what she wants, and if she wants you, then she'll show it, but if not, you can't hold that against her if you're not for her."

Honestly, Ivy needed an outside view of her problem with Ms Valentine, and Luca helped her to a certain point in which she realised what she deserved, and to an extent, she believed she deserved Ms Valentine, but the other half of her was tired of the cat and mouse game they played.

• • •

 Ms Valentine sat tirelessly on her bed, thinking about the only person she shouldn't.

Learning that Ivy was one of the few students she enjoyed her time with, there was a catch, and this was that she grew a stronger liking to the girl. Unfortunately, she became more intrigued and attached to the girl as they spent one hour a day with each other, an unbearable tension that came with each of the women's presence.

Her head was spinning as she couldn't make a decision of what to choose; morals or romance.

Blake's back fell dramatically onto her bed as she exhaled a heavy breath before she mustered up the lasting courage she had for the day.

From the other side of the penthouse, Ivy was busy looking over the assignments that appeared to be too easy for her, but this was until she received a private email from the person she least expected.

«««

To Ms Bonde,

You mentioned how you were having difficulties with the way I explain certain topics during our meetings. It appears our problem with exchanging details and questions about further English lessons has become more prominent because of the lack of communication. If granted, would you mind sending me an alternative device or perhaps details to communicate with you? It would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

kind regards,

Ms Valentine.

«««

Although never mentioned, Ivy knew what Blake was getting at. The clues in her email were more than enough for Ivy to stop what she was doing and send the only thing she could think of in a quick manner.